Can't fight this feeling
by Thefeather
Summary: After 4 years of not seeing each other, an encounter in a bar changes everything for them. Will Brenda go to D.C or she will stay?
1. Chapter 1

Can't fight this feeling any longer

Chapter 1

It was 5am when she received a phone call, she at least had some sleep, is hard to get up from the cozy bed though, lately sleep is not even an option to escape from her worries, is dark and she can't find her cellphone, she remembers that last night she was too tired to even change so she just laid down in bed and fall asleep, finally she finds her purse and after a few rings, her phone "Captain Raydor" her voice was sleepy and low, "sorry to interrupt your sweet dreams Captain but we got a case and it doesn't look good" said L. Provenza on the other side of the phone "text me the address please Lieutenant, I'll be there as soon as possible" this was definitely going to be another long day without sleeping and not only because of the case, the Captain wasn't sleeping that much since Stroh had escaped, she didn't let anyone see how worried she was about her son and her own life being in danger, sometimes she woke up in the middle of the night with very unpleasant dreams of Stroh, weeks ago she had decided to put the case file out of her sight and was starting to let Rusty do his own things without people looking after him but that didn't mean her worries were less.

She got to the crime scene 20 minutes later after the call "what do we have?" She asked while entering the house "triple homicide, one in the kitchen and two in the main bedroom, male in the kitchen whom I presume is the father, upstairs is the wife and a girl of 12, for what I see the suspect kills the man first then the wife and it looks like it wasn't expecting the girl to show up, but here is the worst thing Captain…" but before he could said anything

"The worst? What is it?" she asked

"I'm afraid there's a baby missing, here are some pictures of the family and there are no tracks of the little boy" Provenza said handing a photograph "he is about 1 year old, I really can't tell"

"Thank you Lieutenant, do we know the names of the members of this family?" she remembered the first case she had when she joined this team, she didn't know the name of the victim and Flynn had reproached her that, since then she made sure she knew every victim's name.

"The mother is Helena, the daughter's Linda and the fellow here is Jason and the missing baby is Luke" Sykes answered reading the notes she had in her notepad "the parents own a company named after their last names Makensie&Williams, a chemical company…"

"Hey Captain" they heard Flynn scream from upstairs "I think you need to see this"

They all go upstairs to find a standing paralyze Flynn in the door of what seam the baby's room

"What is it Lieutenant?" Sharon asked desperate

He only pointed at the wall and could barely speak "there"

No one said a word for a few minutes, they were paralyze and couldn't believe what they were seeing, *I'm always looking* was writing with blood in a wall of the boy's room.

"What…" Sharon tried to find the words to speak but couldn't find the right ones

"We can't jump to any conclusions Captain" Provenza said trying to keep her focus "we know he escaped and he wouldn't risk being caught that easily, maybe this means something else…" he couldn't find the right words to tell her that everything was going to be okay, that maybe it was just a coincidence or it wasn't related to Stroh at all, she wanted to believe so, "you are right Lieutenant, what else do we know?" she asks trying to hold back tears and worries.

"Nothing much, the Medical Examiner says that the victims were attacked with a knife, several wounds and the time of death is approximate 2am and one of the cars register on the father's name is missing too, so maybe the killer took it too"

"Do we know who made the 911 call?"

"No ma'am, it was an anonymous call from a disposable cellphone, so we don't know…" Julio said

"So the person who did this wanted us to find the crime scene, but why? Why risk that? And why take also a car that can be tracked?" there are too many questions unanswered. For a moment she thought about the car missing, maybe it was him, after all he had sent a young boy to kill Rusty and he took the cars of his victims but changed the plaques, still she had to keep focus and find that baby that was missing, she could only think in Rusty.

"Ok, Lieutenant Provenza please work in any lead that this might be him, look up who visited him in prison or who kept contact with him while he was still in prison in the last months" she said trying not to even put a name to that person that haunts her in her dreams "Tao and Sykes please see if there were some people fired from their company in the past year that didn't take it so well, we can't let this be just about him and erase any other possible suspect" they just node and headed outside "Lieutenant" she said turning to Flynn "please come with me to the morgue"

The ride back to the station was hard, she tried to keep her mind clear about any bad thought, what if it was really him? What did this mean? It was about 8am when she headed to the morgue with Flynn, she needed answers.

"Dr. what do we have?"

"Well, this is going to sound strange…" he started saying and was instantly cut off by Sharon "please no more strange things, what is it?" she said desperately

"Ok Captain, let me talk please" he said trying to say what was on his mind

"Sorry, please continue" she said rolling her eyes

"Ok, let's see, so far the three victims have several knife wounds, this buddy here was stabbed in the back 3 times, it took long for him to die, he bleed to death, I would say that the killer heard noise upstairs and couldn't risk it so the killer couldn't keep on stabbing him, then it goes with the lady, she was grabbed from behind and the killer stabs her in the chest 2 time" he takes a break to breathe "now the girl, the killer suffocates her and what is odd is that the killer didn't have to stab her with the knife, she was already dead"

"Maybe he wanted to make sure…"

"Perhaps, yes, I still don't know what kind of knife the killer used, but this I can say to you, the killer you are looking for, is a woman"

"Why would you say that?" Flynn asks

"Well the wounds on the victims were done with not so much of strength, but is just a theory that I need more time to prove"

"Ok thanks Dr. let us know what else comes up and when you know what kind of knife was used" she said before heading to her office, Andy following behind.

"Captain" Flynn call her approaching to her

"Yes Lieutenant?"

"What Dr. Morales said, is a good sign…" he wanted her to feel better "if the killer is a woman that message there could mean something else…"

"Yes, it could mean many things but I won't be in peace until I know…" she was going to get all personal, but stopped before saying something else "I won't be in peace until we find this killer" and with that she left to her office.

She was in her office thinking every possible scenario if the killer was Stroh or related somehow to him, she wanted to look outside to be useful, to find him once and for all so the nightmares would stop, she needed to find that missing baby, she couldn't bear the thought that he might be near but they didn't have much, only a message that turned everything upside down. She stayed like that for a few minutes, it felt like hours until her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Captain, we might have a lead" said Tao opening the door

She instantly jumped off her chair and went with him to his desk. "What do we have?"

"Well, the company is really big so they have about 500 employees, in the past 5 months they fired 20" Sykes said looking at the Captain to be sure she was listening, she got a node from the brunette and continued "we got the reasons why they got fired and all of them found jobs except for 3 that were fired about 2 weeks ago for making a bad delivery to a client or something like that and the company lost a lot of money for that"

"Sykes go with Julio to visit them and check what they were doing last night, Tao please see if you can find anything in that 911 call" she then approached to Provenza and ask if he had found anything interesting about Stroh, all leaded to nothing and that didn't help at all, she node and was about to head to her office when Flynn called her "Captain, we traced the car they found it abandoned in the road, a guy called a few minutes ago to the police saying he saw blood in the road and that leads to the car"

Flynn, Provenza and the Captain arrived to the crime scene, there was indeed a dead body in the truck of the car, a woman, her name Lucia Martinez 30 years old with nice clothes and the same wounds as the other victims and in the pocket of her jacket was a paper *lost and never found* that's all it said, nothing more. What did that mean? Probably the Captain was really lost in this case and all she could think now was that the killer was going to another state of the country, out of her hands and she didn't have anything, not one clue of whom might this person be. A call in her phone made her come back from her thoughts "Captain Raydor" she answered without looking who was calling

"Captain we went to the houses of Jack and Leo they both have alibies we already checked them but we can't find a guy named Mark the other person that got fired, their neighbors said that they hadn't seen him for a couple of days"

"Thank you Detective, please keep looking for him" she hung up "that was Detective Sykes, they can't find one of the persons who got fired" she said to the two Lieutenants that were talking

"There is something that doesn't fit here" Provenza said "all indicates that is something personal, I can't relate this with Stroh, maybe is a pattern and the person saw in the news and wants to make us thinks that is him, but I see this too personal and this person that Sykes and Julio can't find, maybe he is the one who did it-"

"I agree with you Lieutenant but why the notes that the killer left, what do they mean? And this poor woman—"she tried to said something but the words wouldn't come out of her now dry mouth

"The killer is now heading to who knows where, we need to know where and why" Flynn said interrupting whatever thoughts she had

They were back to the station, but who would they look? They didn't even know if the suspect was a woman or a man, they needed more leads.

All of them were busy pursuing any lead, when Dr. Morales entered the room and made it to the whiteboard placing pics of the wounds and a knife, "so here is my theory" he begin saying "this is the knife that the killer used and yes is a woman because the wounds in the man" he said pointing to a picture "are from behind, she isn't strong enough to grab him and stab him in the chest but she is strong enough to do it with the wife and the girl, besides the wounds indicate that the force used wasn't that deep" he said doing a curtsey of thank you "now the victim you found in the truck, was attacked in the middle of the road so your killer couldn't waist time so she stab her in the lung so that's what killed her, she drowned in her own blood, I couldn't find fingerprints in the clothes, so probably she is using gloves"

"Thank you doctor that helps a lot" the Captain said, finally after so many hours they had something, but who was this woman, why did she attacked this family, was she related somehow with the family? Did she work in the company?

It was night already, they were all collecting any piece of information that leads them to this woman, Julio and Sykes had already found Mark and he was now in the station, to be now interrogate. With all things consider, they didn't have much, this woman was good at what she was doing she didn't leave anything behind her, they had to find her before anyone else got killed.

Mark hadn't been that helpful he was drunk and all he could said was that he didn't do nothing. It was very late and Chief Taylor sent them all home because they weren't getting any results, he had said "come back with clear minds" but he also had to say with his demanding voice "find this woman as soon as possible, I don't want more deaths".

This case was definitely hard enough.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The next morning, she arrived to work earlier than usual, Buzz and Provenza were the only ones that got to the station that day at the same time as she did, she entered room #1 with Provenza and they started questioning Mark.

"I already told the other detectives that I didn't do anything!"

"The problem here Sr. is that we couldn't confirm your alibi so I need you to start telling the truth"

"Am I under arrest? Because if I'm not, you guys need to let me go, I know my rights…"

"You are been detain because last night we couldn't talk with you Sr. you were unstable, so I need you to focus and answer my questions, where were you a day ago between 12am and 4am?"

"I was in a bar ok, I lost my job recently and my family too and I couldn't take that anymore-"

"Don't say another word" a voice said while opening the door, Sharon and Provenza turned around and there was a man wearing a blue suit and a briefcase in his hand.

"Excuse me, who are you?" Sharon asked the man who was heading to sit next to Mark

"My name is Peter and I'm his lawyer, if you wonder who hired me, his wife that's all you need to know, now if you'll excuse me I need time with my client and if you don't have evidence to arrest him, I think he's good to go"

"Oh he can go yes but as soon as we check that your client was at that bar and then he can go, but it might take a while, you know how long this things take so make yourself comfortable" Provenza said heading outside with Sharon

"Found something" Tao called out to Sharon

"What is it Lieutenant?"

"On the list of employees there was this woman who got fired about 2 years ago, I didn't look more into it before because it doesn't say why and it was more than a year ago that this happened but I just found that she took them to court, she sue the company for a lot of money, about $500,000" he said "and she didn't win the lawsuit, she claimed that she was fired for being pregnant but the judge dismissed the case anyway, there must be something behind all that"

"Ok wait a second" Provenza said standing up from his desk "If she was fired and was pregnant, doesn't the little boy fit here?"

"What do you mean Lieutenant?"

"I mean that is always the husband fault, maybe they fired her because she got pregnant with his child and she didn't win the lawsuit because well rich people always win cases"

The whiteboard now had a picture of the now considered suspect, they had eventually found out that she got pregnant and the family had took away her son, but where she was heading? And why they took away her son?

Chief Taylor entered the room and called Sharon to her office. "Captain, how are we going with the case? I need to know that you have a suspect because this investigation can't take any longer, I have people all over me"

"Well, we have a suspect, right now we are going over her house to look for anything that indicate us where is she heading-"

"So you have a suspect? We need to release the photograph of this woman immediately to the press Captain"

"No, no, no, no you can't do that, please give me a few hours before doing that, if you give the press the photo of the killer you'll be only giving the woman heads up and a chance to keep escaping"

"A few hours Captain and then I'm giving that photo to the press" He said with a demanding voice, like always

She exit her office "ok we need to work faster, Chief Taylor wants to release to the media the photo of the killer"

"He can't do that!" Provenza said angry

"I know Lieutenant, but he insisted that it was the best thing to do so people know she is out there and when someone sees her to call the police, so I talked him out of it for a few hours, I need you to go with Detective Sanchez and Sykes to her house and look for something, anything that gives us a hint to where she's heading"

They arrived to the apartment of Elisa, the suspect "L.A PD open up?" nobody answered so they entered and started searching all over the place.

"This woman was planning this for over a month" said Julio entering in a room full of pictures and maps and cameras.

Her cellphone rang, it was Sykes calling her "What did you find Detective?"

"Captain we found a room full of pictures of the boy and the family, it seems that she was following their every move for over a month, she was planning this and we also found some tickets in the garbage of many stores, most of them from baby clothes and one of the tickets has a knife listed, gloves and other stuffs, is definitely her" she paused "wait, here are some pictures, looks like she has a sister and a brother"

"Thank you Detective I'll ask Lieutenant Tao to look more into it, please keep looking and call me if something else comes up" she hang up the phone and went to Tao's desk and they search for the suspect's family.

An hour later a man showed up yelling "where is my sister? Where is she?"

"Who are you?" she asked the man

"I'm Gabriel, Elisa's brother, a police officer brought me here I need to know what's going on!" he said very agitated

"Sr. why don't you try to calm down and come here with me" she said showing him the way to the conference room "Do you want water or something to drink?"

"Water please!?"

"Of course" she gave Buzz a sign asking him for water and entered the conference room. "Ok Gabriel, do you know where your sister might be?"

"No, I have no idea, I haven't seen her in the past month"

"Do you notice something strange the last time you saw her?"

"Not really-" he paused drinking some water "well after she lost her job, she changed a lot and well she was very depressed and even intended once to commit suicide" a tear came out of his eye

"I know this might be hard, but your sister is not thinking things through and we need to find her soon, before anyone gets hurt" She couldn't tell him anything about the dead family, as far as it concern her he could had helped her in any way so she couldn't tell him anything related to the case.

"For God's sake! You people are unbelievable, my sister was fired because she got pregnant with the boss baby and later they took away her child, she lost everything, where is she? Have you found her yet?" he stood up an yell

Sharon stood as well "Sit down Sr. and stop yelling please, you won't get anything by yelling" he did as he was told and Sharon left the conference room, leaving an officer to keep an eye on him. She realized he didn't know about where his sister was.

Tao approached to her "The sister is here, she's in room #1 Captain"

"Thank you"

She entered the room and saw a well dress redhead siting "I'm sorry to keep you waiting Linda" she said while sitting across her

"Why am I here?"

"Do you know where your sister is?"

"No I have no idea" she lower her eyes "What's going on?"

"Well you could start by telling us if you noticed something different in your sister's behavior since-"

"Since she got fired?"

"Yes"

"Well she was depressed most of the time and even tried to kill herself" she paused "they took away everything, her baby"

The door of the room opened, it was Tao "Captain" he said making a sign with the head for her to go outside.

"Excuse me Linda, I'll be right back"

She headed outside "What is it?"

"Julio just called, they found many phone calls from the phone in Elisa's house and some emails too between her and Linda in the past week and the last call was 3 days ago, Linda must know where she is"

Both entered the room and sat down, Sharon began to speak "You have several phone calls from your sister in the past month, especially 3 days ago, care to explain that?"

"I ah-I…She's my sister, we talk a lot"

"I have a sister too and I don't talk that much with her and we are very close" she then turn to Tao and said "Don't you find this interesting Lieutenant!?"

And before he could say anything she talked "I think I want a lawyer"

Great, the only person that could tell them where the suspect was, wanted a lawyer, this day was only getting better she exit the room and found that Provenza and the others were back. "So do we know where she is?"

"No, I'm sorry ma'am" Julio was the one who answered

They didn't have any choice than release the photo of the woman to the press, Sharon didn't want to show the photo but it wasn't her decision anyway, it was Chief Taylor's because of course politics was his thing and he even said "people need to know that there's a woman killing people to have her son back". She never understands Chief Taylor's decisions, most of the time she disagree with him, but no matter what there were rules to follow and over the years she had become more flexible but she still has that part inside her of doing things right and by the law.

She entered room #1 this time with Julio, they sat across Linda and her lawyer.

"Well, here is the thing Linda" she began "Your sister is missing and running away from the police" she paused and Julio put a portfolio in the table, he opened it and Sharon took the photos in it "there are 4 people dead" she put the photos in front of Linda "and your sister killed them, now you are holding back information to the police, so you better start talking or face the consequences of being charged with murder"

"MURDER!?" Linda yelled and a tear appeared on her eye "I didn't do anything"

"And consider that we don't have much time to wait for you to tell us any information you know about your sister"

"I didn't do anything!" she exclaim once more

"Fine, if you won't tell us anything I think we better go" Julio stand and so did she to head outside, the lawyer was saying something to her ear and she nodded

"Wait" the lawyer said

They turned around smiling to themselves "yes?"

"She will tell you everything she knows, but I need you to assure her that you won't be presenting any charges"

"We can't do that, after all we have proof that she helped her sister"

"Not after you hear this, she will talk hypothetically"

"Ok, start talking" they sat down

"Elisa's boss was harassing her, she needed the job because it took her long to find it and he even told her that if she ever talked about it he would fire her and he would make sure she didn't find another job" she made a pause before continuing "she then got pregnant and we all were worried, my parents got mad because well she is not married or has a couple, we asked her several times who the father was and she didn't want to say a word, until one day I pressured her and she told me, I was horrified and worried for her, so I told my husband and he found her a lawyer and I convinced her to sue the company and all went wrong, he stayed with the baby and denied anything, I'm sure you know the rest of what happened, 4 months ago she tried to kill herself" she paused, took a deep breath and continued "I swear to you that I didn't know what she was doing, I visited her more often than usual to make sure she was fine and a month ago she asked me to stop going over her place, that she was fine, so I believed her but couldn't help to call her now and then. I really didn't know what she was doing, until 3 days ago I received a call from her telling me that she was going away and I asked her why and where she was going and all she said was that she would call me later to tell me where she was and she did, she sent me an message saying *I'm going to our place in Santa Barbara* and that's all I know"

Julio and Sykes went to the address Linda gave them and they found the suspect there and brought her back to the station where she gave her statement.

Sharon was glad that this case didn't take them another day and was relieved that it wasn't Stroh, but she wasn't going to be truly fine until they put him in prison again, she wouldn't sleep well until he was behind bars. But first, she needed a drink.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

She needed a drink, a distraction so after closing the case she sent everyone home and she headed to a bar for a glass of the best wine they serve there. She was wearing a beautiful silk blue blouse and long black pants, fancy as ever, she of course was wearing high black heels and as she entered the bar, she was the attention of everybody, it wasn't crowded but she had to go through a group of people so she could seat, a few seconds later the bartender came asking what she wanted to drink to what she answer "the most expensive and exquisite wine you have please" "right away". She felt the eyes of so many people looking at her, it had being long since she went to a bar alone and all the men and even women looked at her with desire, she grabbed her hair and made a messy bun making her look even sexier. Her drink arrived and she thanked the bartender, savoring the very good wine it was a Spanish one of course she knew when a wine was good or not, her father had taught her everything she needed to know about good wine, whiskey and cuisine, she isn't the type of woman who drinks beer and eats junk food, with Rusty is been hard to keep her good tastes lately because the boy always wants to eat pizza, burgers and that kind of food that she never ate as a kid.

Tonight was about her, she needed this time alone she loves Rusty of course but she didn't have much time to herself, she tried to relax while drinking the wine when someone sat next to her, dark hair glowing blue eyes and young "can I buy you a drink?" his voice was low.

"Thank you but I just came here for one drink and enjoy it alone" she said smiling grabbing her glass of wine and brought it to her lips.

"How is it that a woman like you is all alone in a bar?" he said playfully, something she found challenging and well a little scary because he was indeed younger than she.

"A woman like me?" she asked following whatever game he was playing

"I mean a beautiful woman, dress to kill and well I must say this-" he looked at her to say what he wanted but was afraid she would took it the wrong way "sexy" he lean over to say that on her ear.

Her head fall back while she laughed "Well thank you" she blushed and felt a heat all over her body from head to toe.

"You have a beautiful laugh too, another drink?" he asked

"OK, just one" she managed to smile

Her second drink arrived and the talking was nice, he was funny and charming and she was having a good time. She learn that his name was David, a business man, in his late 40s. They were laughing and suddenly she saw a certain blonde standing with a group of people she instantly stop laughing and look at her, it couldn't be her maybe she had too much to drink and her hopes of seeing the woman again after she said goodbye in A LETTER, no it couldn't be her, she had like disappeared from the earth she hadn't stay in touch as she promise to her team and Sharon could only feel pain and sadness, many days she thought she would see the woman again, but they weren't exactly friends so why she would stayed in touch, god this was painful but she felt something else as the woman turn around and she confirm it, it was her, Brenda Leigh Johnson, the woman who gave her headaches when they first met but at the end had admire for her wonderful work and determination. She looked away "are you alright? You look pale, like you just saw a ghost!?" David said trying to bringing her back to the conversation, he had asked her if she wanted another drink but it seems she was more interested in whatever happened in a group of people in the other side of the bar.

"What did you say? Sorry I was distracted" half smile in her face and apologetic tone in her voice.

"I was saying if you wanted another drink or wanted to get out of here, to my place?" he said smiling "and it looks like you saw a ghost"

"Believe me it was worse than a ghost" she said half laughing "and yes I need another drink, make it whiskey, no ice, no water, just strong enough" she needed that drink more than she needed anything at the moment, but she also felt the urge to run away from that place and not turn back and not say hi to her, after all Brenda was the one saying goodbye and not even a thank you for saving my career or I was stupid enough to promise to see the team again and didn't keep my promise, who she was kidding? She wanted the woman to at least keep in touch and she even had hopes to become closer to her, but she was too afraid the younger women didn't want anything with her, so she never said anything. Her drink arrived and she drink it as fast as she could, a shot, it hit hard although she was used to that but she also felt a familiar heat all over her body, a heat she felt every time she saw Brenda all over her body and her knees felt weak, she didn't like to admit that she felt something for the other woman.

"I'm sorry" she said looking to the nice man seated beside her "I loved your company, but I have to go" she lean and kissed him on the cheek *I never do that* she thought anyway she then stand, that whiskey had hit her hard, but she didn't care she needed to run away from that place, she was making her way through the people when she felt a hand grabbing her arm, she thought that it was David but she became familiar with the touch, it was delicate but still pulling her strong enough, it had to be a woman. "Sharon!?" she heard that southern voice, she turn around and there she was, blonde beautiful and of course all floral and pink *hideous outfit* she thought. "Yes?" that's all she could say, her voice was weak and low.

"How are you?" the blonde said smiling, she had missed Sharon, she had missed her voice, correct that, her commanding voice and the *I must go first line* in her new job she didn't have someone who challenge her the way Sharon did and no one whom she trust with the way she did with the Captain, but what she missed the most was seeing those long legs and fancy suits that made her curves perfect and tonight oh well tonight she looked sexier than ever. She wish she had kept in touch with her but it was too painful for her, Sharon seemed so unapproachable that she never felt like telling her the way she felt about her, she wanted to be friends with her but most of the time she desire her and wanted them to be more than friends.

"I'm good thank you" Sharon answered looking at the hand still holding her arm "Chief can you please let go my arm?"

"Oh I'm sorry" she smile like a fool and let go her arm "and you can call me Brenda"

"And why would I wanna do that?" she said with a sarcastic tone

"Because we don't work together anymore"

"Well it was good seeing you, I have to go now" she said not even looking at Brenda but looking more at the door that seemed so far away right now.

"Please stay, have a drink with me Captain, we haven't seen each other in far too long"

"I can't Chief, I mean Brenda" a pause "I'm really tired had a long day and I should get home" she make a move to the door.

"Oh come on" Brenda said grabbing her arm again and dragging her to the bar "two glasses of wine please" she asked to the bartender. Looked like both needed a drink to be able to talk like civils, correct that, like 'friends'.

"So how have you been? How's the team? I heard you guys caught a rough case in the past days" Brenda tried to be polite

"What do you want Brenda?" she looked more serious now.

"I haven't see you in years, I can't be a little interested and ask 'how are you?'" she didn't know what to say truth to be told. It was true they hadn't seen each other in a long time and mostly it was her fault, she felt hurt and wanted to move on from Major Crimes, she really hoped to visit her team but she was caught up in work and didn't really make time for herself or her friends, she missed them all specially Sharon and now seeing her changed everything, or maybe not.

"Fine, I'll take that glass of wine and then I'm leaving" Sharon said smiling, which made Brenda smile too

They sat down and their knees brushed, Brenda felt her cheeks going pink and also did Sharon, drinks arrived and David of course hadn't left the bar either and that made Sharon a little distracted, he approached and lean over "so you didn't leave?"

"Oh, no, I-" she didn't know what to say, it was really awkward she felt uncomfortable with the whole situation "I was on my way out when I saw her" pointing at Brenda "a friend I hadn't seen in a long time". They weren't exactly friends, Sharon knew that but what was she supposed to say *she was a colleague, whom I feel attracted to?* that was ridiculous, she laughed at the irony.

Brenda felt even more uncomfortable, she was jealous of the man standing next to Sharon, he was handsome and even if he looked younger than her, Sharon was into him, she wanted to lean in and kiss Sharon or do anything to scare him off so she could talk with her but now he had his hand in Sharon's back and she didn't seem to mind "well I think I better go" Brenda said "I ahh-I see you later Sharon" she stand up; she knew for sure that she wouldn't see her later, she was too afraid to even pick up the phone and call her and ask her to go out with her for a coffee or drinks as friends of course.

"No don't go, we haven't even talk" Sharon said standing and now she was the one grabbing Brenda's arm and the one interested to chat, she had liked David and a part of her wanted to go with him and forget about Brenda but having her that close she couldn't just let her go.

"Look Captain" Brenda began to talk, "I see you have company and well I'm with some people from work so is not like I'm all alone so why don't we meet another day?" she paused "let's say, hmm a coffee?" she said with a half fake smile.

Sharon sigh "ok if that's what you want", she grabbed her napkin wrote her phone number and handed it to Brenda smiling, they just nodded to each other and Sharon just stand there watching Brenda made her way to a group of people, she wanted to hug her before she left but that would had only made the situation more awkward, she turn around and smile to David and sat down to drink the rest of the wine and then she was definitely heading home, she talked for one more hour with him but found herself turning every now and then to see Brenda whom looked at her as well, it was getting late and she saw Brenda going to the restroom, her glass of wine was over now and as she promised to herself that it was going to be the last one, she thanked David and at first she thought going to his apartment as he had suggested a few minutes ago but what was the point anyway? She just gave him her number and kissed him on the cheek before heading outside, but first, she had to go to the restroom, she smile to herself while walking there, every step was heavy and her heart was beating faster as she approached. She entered and found Brenda on one of the sinks with her hands in her head. She approached to her, maybe she had a little too much to drink but she wasn't going to blame that to alcohol, she knew she couldn't use it for an excuse, Brenda opened her eyes as she felt someone close to her, she looked in the mirror and there she was, Sharon. She lean in closer to Brenda's ear and whisper "it was really nice seeing you, I hope you actually call me to go for that coffee" Brenda melt while she said those words, her whole body heat up and she felt weak, she didn't say a word, she couldn't, she could only close her eyes and when she opened them again Sharon wasn't behind her anymore, but her sense of expensive perfume was still in the air *Oh that woman*.

Yes, Sharon had left the bar as soon as she could, she couldn't stand anymore been around Brenda, but she was definitely looking forward to that coffee.

She arrived home and took a glass of water and took the bottle of aspirins and headed to her room, it was late so she didn't see Rusty he was probably asleep already. She put the glass of water and the bottle of aspirins in the table next to her bed she knew that tomorrow she'll get a terrible headache, she took a deep breath and get rid of her clothes and got into bed putting the covers over her body it was a quiet night and she was so tired, she fell asleep as soon as she turn off the light next to her bed.

/

Brenda left the restroom after that little moment with Sharon and made her way to the group of people she was with.

"I'm gonna head home" she said grabbing her purse and sweater.

She said her goodbyes and called a cap, she thanked she didn't came to the bar in her car because she knew she couldn't drive, on her way home she looked at the city, the lights LA was so different at night and so different from Atlanta. LA had become a special place for her she couldn't call it home though, she couldn't call any place home because she had lived in many cities and had never found a place where she felt at home, tonight more than ever she felt she didn't belong to any place, a tear came out as she looked at the people around the city, couples, friends, everyone seemed so happy. She was thankful about having a job, but that job wasn't what she really loved, she loved being outside, haunting killers down, playing undercover, not seating behind a desk and having meetings with politics, that was never her thing *what an irony, live can turn things upside down and you find yourself in a place where you least expect it* she laughed at that. She was considering moving back to D.C after all, she needed a changed and many offers had come to her and she had rejected all of them, things with her husband weren't so well, she finally got time for him but she felt trapped in her house on the weekends or any day when she didn't have work to do and then there was Sharon, that woman had changed her life, Brenda trusted her and after all that had happened Sharon was there for her, supported her and even believed in her when no one else did. After seeing Sharon tonight all her feelings returned again, that woman took her breath away, that woman make her feel things she couldn't possibly name. She arrived home, pay the cab and opened the door to her house, Fritz was already asleep so that was better she thought, he wouldn't be asking questions. Her thoughts didn't let her sleep that easily but after half an hour of struggle her eyes closed up.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

She woke up at 11am, with a headache last night she had a little too much to drink, but she slept like a baby, she took the glass of water and aspirin and drank it, then she headed to the kitchen and she started the coffee machine, minutes later she went to the bathroom to take a shower. As the hot water ran all over her body she started remembering what happened last night at the bar and as the memory of a certain blonde came to her mind, her breath was heavier and her heart beats were faster, she senses a heat all over her naked body and it wasn't the water, she lean and brought the shampoo to her hands, she washed her hair two times and then brought the soap to her body, to every inch of it, she remembered how the blonde had grabbed her arm and her name pronounced in that accent was both annoying and sexy, the attraction she felt for Brenda was inevitable and seeing the woman last night made her forget about everything, while she lead the soap all over her body she thought of Brenda's hand doing it, her body trembled and felt weak. The heat increase when she touches her breasts she lets her head fall back and a little moan goes out of her mouth, she then realizes what she's doing and stops, she lets the water wash all her body and steps out of the shower, she enters her room and opens the closet, today she was going to wear casual clothes, it was weekend and she wanted to relax maybe go for lunch with Rusty, she found some jeans she hasn't wore in long time, she throws it to the bed and started looking what blouse she could use, she finds a white one, with no cleavage *that would do just fine* she thought to herself, she got ready and head to the kitchen for a cup of coffee, minutes later Rusty joined her.

"Morning" she said smiling

"Hey, how did the case go? Did you catch the killer?"

"Yes, matter of fact we did, turns out she wanted to recover her baby"

"Wow, a woman did all that just to get her baby?"

"Well it was far too complicated, anyway what are we doing today?"

"I'm going out with TJ, he's helping me a lot with Alice's case"

"Hmm, I was thinking we could go out for launch, do something different, but that's ok"

"Oh, we could go to dinner though!?"

"No is ok, I can do something else" she fake a smile and sat on the living room and started thinking what to do on this free Saturday, if you could say free because she could receive a call at any time about a case.

/

In another place, a certain blonde was having breakfast, Fritz had left early in the morning for a case or that's what she thought he was going to do, what she didn't know is that he had a Dr. appointment that he couldn't miss. Her cellphone was in front of her, she was convincing herself that she wouldn't call Sharon, that it was better that way but she really wanted to see the other woman, she grabbed her phone and dial the number, it rang 3 times and she hang *she couldn't do this, what would she say to the other woman? And how? No, she couldn't* she grabbed her glass of juice and drank slowly, letting the liquid wet her now dry mouth a throat, she took a deep breath and dialed the number once more, it rang a few times and the brunette wasn't answering so she just hang, she would call after taking a bath or not at all, but her cellphone rang "Hello?" her voice was clear

"Did you call a minute ago Brenda?" she sound happy and she certainly had recognize the blonde's voice with only a hello

"Yeah, I ah-I'm sorry I guess I dialed the wrong number" her voice was now weak and nervous

"Ok then, bye"

"No, no, no wait"

"What?"

"I did call, I just-I'm sorry, I wanted to ask you if you would like to go for a cup of coffee?"

"Okay, where?"

"There's a Café named *Sweet's n' Treat's* is not far, I'll text you the address, at what time is good for you?"

"1:00pm is fine?"

"Yes, so I'll see you there, bye"

"Bye"

Brenda hang the phone and texted the address, she made her way to the kitchen to leave the plates on the sink, they could wait, she had to shower and get ready first, she was so nervous, Sharon made her always so nervous.

/

Sharon arrived first, of course she is a very punctual woman, the café was nice she thanked that she decided to change that t-shirt she was wearing for a nice white blouse, she sat close to the windows that were next to the entrance so Brenda could see her, she ordered a glass of water while waiting, she felt like a high school girl in her first date *so silly* she thought. Her heart stopped when she saw the blonde entering the café it was a vision, Brenda was wearing a nice dress all floral of course but it was different from the other hideous dresses and skirts she wore, this one highlighted up her eyes and hair and it fit perfectly, it was a dream, she wave and Brenda wave back smiling, every step towards the table were killing her.

"Hi" Brenda said smiling like a fool and sitting across her.

"Hi back" she said, feeling like a fool

"Can I drink from your glass? I'm very thirsty" and before Sharon could object or tell her that she could call the waitress to ask for a glass of water, Brenda was drinking already, the waitress came anyway and they ordered a cappuccino for Brenda and Chai tea for Sharon.

When the waitress was gone there were minutes of silence, neither of them knew what to say "So…How's it going?" Sharon broke the silence

"Great, I miss Major Crimes but is great, the new job is very interesting. How about you?"

"At first it was difficult, but the team has accept me and we work just fine" she brought the glass of water to her lips and drank "what are we doing here Brenda?"

"We are having coffee and trying to have a conversation" she smiled and without realizing she was drinking again from Sharon's glass and well Sharon didn't seem to mind

"I mean seriously, what are we doing here? We don't have nothing in common, we never got along, we were never friends, and we certainly don't know each other"

She was right, they weren't exactly friends, they knew so little about each other, but Sharon knew more about Brenda after all she helped her with the lawsuit and she knew her parents and her husband, she also knew that Brenda had an affair with Will but that was all and Brenda didn't know anything about her.

"I just- so? What if we don't know each other? I don't see that as a problem, do you?"

"No but-"

"No buts Sharon, I want to know more about you, when I saw you last night in that bar I told myself *how stupid I was back then* because you were nice, well not nice but you helped me a lot and I didn't thank you enough and well I want us to be friends, I mean maybe we can accomplish that now that we don't work together and don't have to be in the way of one and other."

She was caught out of guard, Sharon wasn't expecting that, while Brenda was talking, she couldn't help but observe her, outside work that woman was another person, kind and well open, they looked at each other for a couple of minutes until the waitress arrived and interrupted whatever was happening between the two women.

"Ok Brenda" she said smiling

"Tell me something about yourself, like why did you decide to be a cop?"

"Well I joined the police force to help my then husband to go to law school" she saw that Brenda was all confuse "yeah is all very weird I know. But everything changed when I got pregnant, we had two kids and things weren't good so we separate and I decided to stay in the police force and Jack moved on with his life. I mean I didn't always want to be a police officer but as more involved I became I started to love it and here I am" she sighed, she had never opened to someone about her past but with Brenda it was different, she felt comfortable but still she had to keep some things to herself. "What about you? Did you always wanted to be a cop?"

"Yeah I think I did, well my dad was an officer in the U.S. Air Force, so I guess it runs in the family" Brenda said smiling "You said you have kids!?"

"Yes, I have 3, Richard an Emily that are mine from my marriage with Jack and I adopted Rusty less than a year ago"

"Oh yeah I heard that you helped Rusty, I'm glad he found you, he needed someone like you. How is he?

"He is fine, he is a very passionate impulsive boy, right now he's investigating a jane doe, he wants to give her identity back and he created this website, he finished school and we are looking universities at the moment" She said like a proud mama

"I'm glad to hear he's doing so well"

The conversation went on for two hours, they hadn't notice that it had gone that long, they shared laughs and even one time Brenda grabbed her hand, they talked about their works, Brenda apologize way to much about not staying in touch and Sharon told her that it wasn't her fault alone, that she also should had contacted her sooner. Excuses, they both had too many excuses to avoid seeing each other, they both were fighting against feelings and well Brenda being a married woman and Sharon couldn't possibly break up a marriage. It was hard for both of them, four years without seeing each other, denying every feeling.

They headed to the parking lot, Brenda was surprised to see Sharon in jeans "Wow you look normal and beautiful wearing those"

Sharon blushed "thank you, is Saturday so I wear this"

They both laugh and that's when Sharon couldn't explain herself or Brenda what she did then, she approached to the younger woman and kissed her on the cheek "hope to see you soon" and headed to her car, Brenda just stood there without moving "wait Sharon" she stopped walking but couldn't turn around and face Brenda, "Yes?" her voice wasn't steady, she heard footsteps approaching to her making her nervous and weak, Brenda stood behind her "Sharon, please turn around?"

"Why?"

"Just please do it?"

And she did turn but couldn't look her in the eyes, Brenda was so closed to her, she could feel her breathe and perfume.

"What are you doing tomorrow night?" the younger woman asked

"Nothing, why?" her voice trembling and she couldn't possibly look at Brenda in the eyes

"Sharon?"

"Hmm?"

"Please look at me?" she put her hand in Sharon's chin and made her look up "give me your eyes Sharon" she did as she was told "Would you like to go to dinner tomorrow?"

"I don't think that's a good idea Brenda"

"Why not? Come on it will be fun" Brenda's hand was now on her cheek now, Sharon blushed inevitable.

"Please don't do that" she said grabbing Brenda's hand away from her face

"Sorry, I didn't mean to do that, I tempt to do things like that when I'm nervous" she said laughing

"I make you nervous?" Sharon said playfully

"Well yes, you sure do"

"Why is that Brenda?"

"I ah-" she didn't know what to say so she changed the subject "dinner tomorrow?"

"Hmm, ok dinner tomorrow" Sharon said with a smile, she truly felt nervous but excited about that dinner.

"Great, we talk later about the details?"

"Sure"

It was Brenda's time to play like Sharon had minutes ago so she closed the little space between them and kissed Sharon close to her mouth and murmured a bye, Sharon was shocked she saw the woman walk away to her car and she did too, she got into the driver seat, breathed deeply several times and drove back home.

She couldn't possibly fight against her feelings any longer.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything.

Chapter 5

They spent all Saturday sending each other texts, it was ironic because Brenda only texted when it was needed because she always preferred calling people and she didn't know much about texting and Sharon texted with her children but not that much, she was more into technology than Brenda though. She felt like a fool school girl in love, texting to her crush about her day and how much she enjoyed seeing the blonde earlier for a coffee, she was tired of typing so she told Brenda to call her instead, Brenda said she would later that night.

It was 11pm already and Brenda hadn't call, she decided to go to sleep, maybe she had forgot or had something better to do anyway she went to bed, she wanted to keep enjoying the time without a case and maybe be able to catch some sleep.

Her cellphone was ringing, she heard it but she was so sleepy to possibly answer it, maybe if she just ignore it the sound of it would go away but she couldn't, it could be a call from work. She grabs the phone that was in her nightstand and answers "Raydor" her voice was sleepy

"Oh god I woke you, I'm so sorry"

It was Brenda calling, she groan and turn on the light next to her to look at the time, it was 1am "Brenda? Do you know what time it is?" She said angry

"I know is late and I'm sorry, I shouldn't have call, I just wanted to hear your voice" an apologetic tone was in her voice "I just couldn't call before" she was whispering.

"What do you want Brenda?" her voice still very sleepy

"I said I just wanted to hear your voice" she giggle

"Oh God Brenda I'm hanging up, I'm really tired" she turn off the light

"No please Sharon don't hang up" she said feeling stupid for wanting to talk to Sharon so badly

This woman was going to make her lose her mind one day "What is it?"

"How was your night?"

"Seriously Brenda?" the other woman didn't say anything "Ok, fine" sighs "my night was ok, I just watched a movie and had dinner at home, how about you?"

"We went to have dinner" that we, Sharon knew what that meant, she was so silly, Brenda is married and there's nothing she can do about it, how is it that of all people she had to felt attracted by her, she just stayed quiet after those words hit her.

"Sharon are you still there?" Brenda asked worried, maybe she shouldn't had said that, but she just keeps forgetting that she is married, that she is not Sharon´s friend, the type of friend that you tell about how wonderful your life is or how apart you are growing for the past months with your husband, no Sharon wasn't someone Brenda could talk to about that because she felt something more than friendship and talking about being married would hurt them both.

She took a deep breath "yeah I'm still here"

"So are we still on for dinner?" she tried to talk about something else

"Sure, where do you suggest we go?" Sharon´s voice was now very much awake

"I think I know the right place, I'll send you the address!?" Brenda said with an enthusiastic tone in her voice.

"Great, I'll go back to sleep now Brenda and you should too, see you tomorrow" she needed to sleep maybe tomorrow things would look better.

"Ok, goodnight Sharon"

"Goodnight Brenda" she hang the phone and went back to sleep.

/

The afternoon had arrived and she was feeling pretty nervous, she had agreed with Brenda to see her at an Italian restaurant at 8:00pm, she really didn't know what to wear she had decided to wear a dress but nothing too much elegant or serious, so now her bed was a mess full of dresses and blouses she really had no idea what to wear she wanted to look sexy but not to look like *I'm attracted to you so I dress to call your attention*, she wanted to look simple; this wasn't exactly a date but yet it felt like it. There was a knock on her door that interrupt her ritual of selecting clothes.

¨Hey Sharon?" it was Rusty

"Come on in"

Rusty entered the room and was surprised to see the mess Sharon had "What is this? Are you giving away clothes or picking up one dress?" he said laughing, he couldn't help himself.

"Haha, that's funny, what is it?" she said turning to her closet again, she didn't have much time to prepare.

"Can I help you to pick one?" he said getting closer to her closet "Who are you going out with?"

Should she tell him it was Brenda or just keep it as she had told him in the morning *a friend I hadn't seeing in a long time* but that wasn't being very convincing since he was asking again "I told you that is a friend that-"

"You hadn't seeing in long time" he said roalling his eyes, "yes you already told me that, if you don't wanna tell me that's ok Sharon" he grabbed a blue dark dress "what about this one?"

"That one it is, thanks" she grabbed the dress from his hand "so what do you want to order for dinner?"

"I think I want Chinese, I'll order it" he headed outside her room and closed the door, Sharon felt bad for not saying him the truth of who she was going to have dinner, after all Brenda had helped him before, maybe it was better if she did tell him.

The blue dress highlighted every curve of her body made her hair look beautiful and her eyes glowing, she looked stunning, she headed to the living room where Rusty was watching TV

"Rusty?"

"Yes?"

"I'm going to see Brenda tonight" she sat in the sofa

"Brenda hah? Why? How did you- I thought you two didn't get along well when she used to work at Major Crimes" he said surprised

"Well we saw each other Friday night and we agreed on having dinner, after all we don't work together maybe that was the reason we didn't get along and we have more things in common than we thought"

"OK, say hi from me and tell her that I hope to see her soon now that you two are friends"

"I will, ok I'm leaving now" she got up and grabbed her purse and keys "I won´t be late, call me if you need anything" she was always protective with him, she has always being with her kids.

"Yes Sharon, go, I'll be fine" he said from the couch

"Ok, bye" and with that, she was gone.

On her way to the restaurant, she felt enthusiastic but also worried what would it mean this dinner and she felt nervous too, was she doing the right thing? No, of course she wasn't but it felt right anyway and she was following her heart for once, it had being long since she felt this way about someone and specially a woman, she once had a relationship with a woman, a year after her breakup with Jack and once again got hurt, since then she closed up and only had relationships with men, because that breakup was worse than the one she got with her ex-husband, it had broken her heart and it had changed her when it came to relationships because in every relationship she was involved she just walked away before her heart was involved. So having Brenda around, scared the hell out of her, her heart was already involved but she wasn't going to admit it, she couldn't, what if Brenda didn't want anything more than a friendship. She had to consider many things, also the fact that she was now having dates, real dates with Andy, she liked him, he was nice with her and had brought some emotions back to her life, but for her it was more a distraction of her routine than anything else. Must of all, she needed to figure out what she wanted because she couldn't wouldn't want to hurt Andy, she needed to stay away from Brenda or keep her in a friend zone.

As she arrived to the restaurant she spotted the blonde getting out of her car, she parked her car took a deep breath and opened the door, the cold air hit her she grabbed her coat and purse and made her way to the door, the blonde had spotted her too and was waiting for her outside with a big smile in her face. Brenda was wearing a beautiful and simple black dress and red heals, she looked stunning and made her remember of that red dress Brenda wore once for her interview with the mare, it had highlighted every curve of her body and made her hair perfect and her eyes glowing, this black dress was no different, it was perfect. She approached to her and found herself smiling too. The restaurant seemed very nice, a place that Sharon could get used to.

"Hi" she said with an enthusiastic tone

"Hey" the blonde gave her a smile and opened the door "after you" making a gesture with her hand for Sharon to came into the restaurant

"Thank you"

The waiter leaded them to the table, it was nice and two tables closed to a woman that was playing the piano, they sat in front of each other, both feeling nervous.

"My name is Michael and I'll be attending your table tonight, would you like to order something to drink first?" the waiter was a polite young man

"I will take a glass of Merlot, thank you" Brenda smiled grabbing her menu but observing Sharon over it.

"A martini for now thank you" Sharon said

They both read the menu but now and then sharing smiles and observing what the other one was doing. Minutes later the waiter came and took their orders.

They had a nice chat while waiting for the food, sharing smiles and jokes about when they used to work together.

"This is great" Brenda said smiling and taking a sip of her favorite wine.

"It is nice" Sharon admitted "I need to tell you something Brenda" her eyes were serious and that scared Brenda a little.

"What's wrong Sharon?" she really looked worried

The waiter interrupted with their food and that made them distracted from the conversation they were having. This was an unusual dinner for Sharon because they shared the food something that she never did but it seems that Brenda did. Sharon hadn't laughed for real in a long time and that was something that Brenda wanted to do for the other woman more often. Who knew that about of all people those two one day would sat together and have a proper conversation involving laughs and stories, it was shocking for both of them. Brenda toasted for their little encounter in the bar that Friday.

"I need something sweet" Brenda said

"You are going to eat dessert after all we ate?" Sharon shocked her head and laughed

"Well yes, I need sweets to survive"

Sharon observed while Brenda ate that little chocolate cake with a blueberry on top, it looked yummy to be honest and Brenda saw her looking and blushed.

"Here" Brenda said with the spun in her hand guiding it to Sharon's lips, Sharon frown "come on, I know you want" she said playfully and Sharon opened her mouth and tasted the cake it felt so sweet and it wasn't because of the cake if she was honest to herself, Brenda had feed her with the same spun that she used and all her body was on fire. "Consider yourself lucky Captain, I don't share sweet things with others" she arched her eyebrow and brought another bite of cake to her mouth, now it tasted different.

Sharon took courage and also the rest of her glass of wine before saying the next not so essay words "I must admit that you make me feel nervous, I don't know what are we doing here but I can't even think of the idea of not seeing you or not talking to you" she sighed, she needed to said how she felt, it was now or never, after all it had been so long, so many years without speaking with her, she just couldn't keep fighting against her feelings, her words came so easily that she couldn't believe it "Brenda, I ah, I can't do this" Brenda looked pale now and all her attention was on Sharon, the cake didn't seem to be important anymore *what couldn't they do?*

"Sharon!?"

"I'm sorry, I just can't be your friend and I don't know how to be your friend when all I want…" she couldn't say the words, she took a deep breath and without looking at Brenda she said "when all I want is you"

Brenda just sat there without knowing how to react to those words and that made Sharon go insane, she stood up and said the inevitable "just forget about all this, I'm sorry I shouldn't had said what I did" grabbed her coat and purse and started walking to the door.

"Sharon please don't go we need to talk" the blonde said walking behind her and the waiter behind them telling her to go back that they couldn't leave without paying, so Brenda just grabbed Sharon's arm to make her stop walking and murmured "don't you dare to move Captain!" she pay the waiter and then grabbed Sharon's hand and lead them outside, Sharon saying nothing at all. The cold night hit them both so they both put on their coats and sat in a bench not saying a word, the silence wasn't helping but neither of them knew how to break it.

Minutes later Brenda spoke, finally "you can't just say something like that and walk away Sharon" she didn't say a word "what if I told you that I feel the same? That when I look at you or hear your voice it makes me nervous, that I don't know how to control my feelings since the day I met you" she laughed at that "well not since the beginning, after all you were all commanding and feeling superior than everyone, especially me and I felt threaten by you but the last year I was in Major Crimes, you were the only person I could trust and wanted to trust, you were there for me" Sharon was taken off guard, she wasn't expecting that at all but still couldn't manage to speak so Brenda continued "I thought that if I didn't see you or speak with you, it would make all these feelings to go away, but I guess it didn't help. That night at the bar when I saw you I just couldn't help myself, I needed to talk with you becau-"

Brenda was interrupted by Sharon pressing her lips against her, the kiss was a sweet but desperate one, is being long time since Sharon wanted to do that just make Benda shut up with a kiss specially the moments when they fought and didn't tolerate each other, they both surrender to the moment and Brenda grabbed Sharon's hair and made her come closer to her and Sharon's hands were now on her back, moving around it. They parted for breathe and they rested in each other forehead "wow" Brenda managed to said and she could only smile "wow indeed" Sharon responded. Everything was forgotten, that they were outside a restaurant, that Brenda was married, that they were supposed to be only friends. That moment felt so right so sweet.

"You know" she began saying "I have wanted to do that since long time ago" she laughed

"Really?" Brenda said with a playful tone "What Captain? What had you wanted to do in a long time?"

Sharon didn't say it with words, she put her hand in Brenda's cheek and brought her closer kissing her again, they both smiling, this time Sharon passed her tongue through Brenda's lower lip begging for access and Brenda couldn't possibly fight against it, she needed her more than anything so her mouth fell opened and tongues started a dance, this kiss was different from the first one, it was hot wet and the best kiss they both ever had. Sharon could taste the chocolate and wine in Brenda's mouth, it was marvelous she couldn't possibly name what she was feeling at the moment and felt really sorry when her phone started ringing, she parted from Brenda's lips that made both gasp and she looked for her phone in the purse "Don't answer Sharon" Brenda said distracting her from searching for it and kissing her lips again.

"It's probably from Rusty or work" she said between kisses "I really have to see who is calling" she said laughing when Brenda certainly wasn't letting her answer the phone, at some point she stopped fighting against Brenda´s hands that were all over her hair pushing her closer to kiss her, she gave up and kissed Brenda back forgetting the call, her hands went inside Brenda's coat she wanted to feel more, they were both desperate to feel each other, her hand made is way to Brenda's right breast and the kiss got even hotter, they separate for air and Brenda started kissing her jaw, chin, neck, she wanted to kiss every inch of her, her head fall back giving Brenda more access but it wasn't long before her phone started ringing again, that brought her back to reality, she pushed back a little but Brenda wouldn't let her, she could barely speak "Brenda" she called the other woman that was making it impossible to answer the phone but failed making it sound like a beg instead of a command

"Hmm?" Brenda said not looking up at Sharon knowing that she had to let her go sometime soon but instead kept kissing her neck.

"Brenda" Sharon said with a more proper tone "I need to answer the phone" Brenda let her go and sat up properly, not very content to being pushed away from feeling for the first time this woman's skin against her lips.

She grabbed her phone and she was right, it was Provenza "see?" she said showing to Brenda who was calling "Raydor" she answered trying to steady her voice.

"Captain we had a very bad situation here, two cops dead" his voice was sad

"Oh my God" she managed to said and Brenda knew that face, when you get a hard case and her smile faded, that meant Sharon had to leave. "I'm on my way Lieutenant, thank you" she hang the phone and manage to do a half smile "I have to go"

"I know" Brenda said "How bad is it?"

"Two dead cops" she said with a sad face "We talk later?" they both stand up and headed to their cars.

"Sure, go get the bad guys" Brenda said turning her head to look at Sharon and she looked back.

"I'm sorry" she managed to say with a half-smile

"Is not your fault" Brenda reassure her

They stopped walking and faced each other, they hugged and Brenda press her lips against Sharon's for a quick kiss of goodbye before parting to separate ways. Before Brenda could pull away, she grabbed her from her coat and push her closer, Sharon wasn't going to leave before she made sure Brenda got a proper goodbye kiss and thank her for stopping her minutes ago, they needed to talk, tell each other how they felt and right now Sharon wanted that kiss to be never forgotten. Brenda smiled when Sharon brought her closer and kissed her back.

On her way to the crime scene she couldn't stopped smiling, tonight will be a very sweet moment to remember, but everything was about to change and erase that big smile from her face when she got out of the car.


	6. Chapter 6

**(I know this episode is part of the Major Crime, but is manipulated in some ways, in many ways actually, like I said before, I'm just playing a little with my favorite characters, just hope you enjoy the reading)**

Chapter 6

It was about 11pm when she arrived to the crime scene, all her team was already there, the SWAT team also and someone she wasn't expecting to see was there too, Chief Howard a reminder that Brenda was married to someone that now works with the LAPD and is around Major Crimes more often, a reminder for her that she actually liked the man and she couldn't possibly keep kissing Brenda like she did tonight, she needed to talk with her and tell her that whatever was happening between them couldn't keep going, before someone got hurt. She passed through the police tape and managed to give a half smile to Fritz whom gave her a brief on the case. Two young cops, it was terrible but what she couldn't bare was that the bodies were still laying on the ground covered with a white blanket, she approaches to Chief Taylor and they had a quit chat, later on the bodies are taken away, everyone paying their respects to them, it was a real tragedy, but they weren't the only ones dead, there was an older man in his car shot to death too, perhaps the two officers had seen something weird and pulled over the car but before they could do anything, they got shot too, who could possibly had done such horrible thing?

The Captain and her team immediately started looking at the options of what had happened. The names of the dead cops where Larry and Tracy she was only 23 years old, close to her daughter's age, it was a terrible tragedy, of course on nights like this she found herself thinking about her children and always felt sorry for the parents that got to lose her sons and daughters this way.

"Do we know why officers Larry and Tracy might have stopped the Honda?" she asked

"No we don't know" Buzz answered

"We have got a copy of the last radio transmission, doesn't help very much" Tao approached to her so she could hear the audio.

They analyzed the crime scene, it appeared that the suspects killed Tracy before she was able to pull out her gun, Larry was shot first because he was able to go out of the patrol, they found some fake IDs and the gun of Tracy was missing.

She stood there beside the patrol of the now dead officers, just trying to see everything about the crime scene, she couldn't let anything scape from it, now Chief Howard was next to her, she needed to act cool and polite.

"What are you trying to determine?" he asked

"If I could tell the man in the Honda is dead from here, but I can't tell, so the officers didn't stopped for that" she made a brief pause and turn to look at him "I need my witness"

"What witness?" now he turned to look at her.

Julio approaches to them and hands him an evidence bag so he could see what she was talking about. The bag of evidence contain the fake IDs they found in the floor of the patrol, it turns out that officers Larry and Tracy had a person in the back of the patrol for having this IDs and he was been taken for interrogation.

The man found dead in the Honda, didn't have criminal record but it appears that he was pull over by officers because he had his license out of his wallet and the register of the vehicle, but it all look very strange. Tao started making face recognition on the fake IDs they found while Provenza explain what they have got so far on the case.

"Ok this is" Provenza said pointing to the board full of drawings that represented the crime scene "this is our patrol car" he looked at the captain "that belonged to our dead officers, here is our Honda and this-" he said pointing to another draw "is right over here" they walked to the Honda car "SID, says that we have an extremely fresh mark indicating a third vehicle"

"Which must have left the scene" Flynn pointed out

"So the officers pull over because there was an altercation between two drivers!?" she admitted but also kind of made the question, it all made sense now. "Was it someone robbing Mr. Peppers, why did they pull over?"

Tao interrupted with new information "facial recognition lead us to at least one gang from one of the passport card, Paco López, he's got a record"

"I just got a hit" Howard says while he approaches to her "a match from a print found on one of the fake IDs, his real name is Enrico Fornes, Salvador national deported 18 months ago." Howard shows them the photo.

It was the same guy that the officers had in the back of the patrol and he was family related to a well-known gangster, his uncle one of the persons that the FBI was looking for, so that could possibly be the reason why the officers pull over, it was probably someone who wanted to help Enrico to escape but not exactly everything fit in, if it was true that someone came to help him so he wasn't deported, why was the back window of the patrol car broken!? He was definitely involved in the murders of the officers, but how? Was he the suspect of this murders or was he only a witness? Either way, they had to find him.

Back in the station Sharon took a moment to text Brenda before going to a meeting in Chief Taylor's office.

 _We need to talk. -S_

Brenda read the text and she knew what Sharon meant with those words, they couldn't possibly start something that would complicate things in the life of not only them, there were too many people involve, her husband and the Major Crime team, she took a deep breath and started typing her text and send it quickly.

 _Yes we do, where do you wanna meet? –B_

Sharon was too busy, this case was a mess, everything indicated that it was a gang behind this murders and she couldn't distract herself, two officers had being killed she didn't want to put her personal things before work, she has never done that, her thoughts are cut off when her cellphone vibrated in the pocket of her blazer, she took it and read the message, typing some quick words so she could focus back on the case.

 _We caught a big case, right now we are trying to find the suspect, so I don't know how long will it take, let you know later? –S_

When Brenda read the text, she knew what it meant, it could actually take days to be able to speak with Sharon about what was happening, she knew this kind of cases.

 _Ok, don't worry hope you catch the suspect – B_

Sharon read the last text, took a deep breath and head inside Taylor's office, there was Provenza, Julio who knew a lot from these gangs, Taylor and of course Fritz, they discussed about the possibilities of this case. Chief Taylor wants to give the picture of Enrico to the press so everyone who recognize him turns him in. But of course Sharon doesn't agree with him and she was amazed when a certain person stood by her and supported her opinion, Fritz, but Taylor doesn't listen to anyone and they end up releasing the picture to the press, so in less than a few minutes, the face of Enrico is all over every television program and it all turns into chaos, they start receiving too many phone calls of people who claim they saw the suspect or know him. This was going to be a long day in the Captain's life.

They bring Paco to the station, one of the man whose photo was on one of the fakes IDs, the Captain and Julio interrogate him. The way she interrogates suspects is no longer as the first time she did, she has more experience and she isn't afraid of any of them, in the past years, she has grown stronger and she can interrogate with a straight face, no one would have guess that she would became the strong woman she is.

"If you don't tell us what you know of Enrico, you will end up in prison again for breaking your parole, do you understand that?" Julio tells the suspect

"I don't know anything" he answers mockingly

"Do you think this is a joke Paco?" she sat down in front of Paco "you might be even considered as a terrorist" she puts her arms on the table "my my, a terrorist do you know what that means?" she says with a sarcastic tone. And the guy infront of her is no longer smiling

"I'm not a terrorist!" he screams

"Do you want to spend the rest of your life in a federal prison hah!" Julio screams approaching to him

After a couple of minutes talking, Paco finally tells them who is behind the fake IDs "his name is Eco man!"

"What is his last name?" Sharon asks him

"I don't know, just Eco"

This Eco person turns out to be the one Enrico works for and he gives them the address where Enrico lives, they arrive to the address but there´s no sign of him in there, only a woman, not a very cooperative one, but either way they take her to the station to interrogate her.

"Amy we know Enrico stopped by your apartment after the shootings" Sharon tells her closing the door behind her "because he left behind this envelope" she seats down and opens it, is full of fake IDs.

"Now we found those IDs on you department and you could be incriminated for it" Tao adds

"You don't get it, he is not in a gang" Amy says angry

"When you saw him last, did Rico have a gun?" Sharon asks her looking her right into the eyes

"I don't know anything about a gun, look let me explain this to you" she looks from Tao to the Captain "I don't want the reward you are offering"

"We are not offering a reward for Rico" Sharon tells her

"The other cops said you are" she said more calmed

"What other cops?" Tao asks her

"The ones who came looking for Rico, nicer cops actually, they knocked" she said with a sarcastic tone

"We found in your apartment that you were packing a suitcase where are you heading? To Enrico's car" the captain gets more upset because the woman doesn't give them anything.

"What car?" the woman screams "That piece of shit is in the shop, it doesn't even run"

The Captain stands up and leans on the table, that's when she gets angry, no one can stop her and that's when she determines that the person in the other end of the table will better start talking, she uses that technique when someone doesn't want to talk, it almost work every time and today it did worked. "Which shop?" The woman finally tells her and they of course found Enrico there and bring him to the station.

"So tell us why was your gang so desperate to rescue you that they had to kill an innocent man and two cops?" Provenza asks Enrico

"I swear I didn't see anything"

"Mr Fornes we are very interested in what happened to you last night" the Captain says

"I didn't see anything" he keeps saying "I didn't have anything to do with those cops getting killed"

"Those officers have names" the captain shows him the pictures "these is officer Larry and this is officer Tracy, they have families"

"You either killed these two officers or you are covering up someone" Sykes adds

"If you are afraid that the gang will get to you, we can protect you" Julio tells him

"Look the gang wasn't there!" he says raising his voice "you really don't know?"

They all looked at him with wonder faces like *what are you trying to say kid!?*

"It was cops killing cops" he declares

"You actually saw police officers shooting at others police officers?" the Captain asks him

"Yeah that's what I'm saying and they almost took me twice, once in the apartment and then in the garage"

"They are probably fake cops, so if we find this fake cops, would you identify them?" Provenza asks him

He looks at all the people in the room and says "Yes I will. So if they aren't real cops how did they found me twice?"

"Well probably because we posted your picture and name all over television" Provenza says that looking right into the camera because he knew Taylor was in the other side of the interrogation room.

Now everything fits, there are two men pretending to be cops, so the only chance they have to catch them is if Rico's girlfriend calls them about the reward and that's exactly what they do, she calls them and gives them the name of a place where they can meet to exchange, at San Andrews Church, she tells them that Enrico will be there.

While one of the fake cops entered to the church and was arrested by Provenza, Amy and Julio, the other one waited in the car, so Sharon had to go undercover as a lady who was asking for help to him, she knocks on the car window and with a very sweet voice says "I'm sorry officer can you help me?"

"What do you want?"

And as soon as the window went down, she pull her gun and points at him "for you to remain very still"

They made the arrests needed and finally the case was closed sooner than expected, Enrico made a deal with them, he would help with any information about his uncle and in exchange he wouldn't be charge and would be in the witness protection program.

She is back home now, she takes off her heels, leaves her purse close to the door, the gun and keys in a little table and heads to the kitchen as she always does every night after work, she opens the fridge takes out a nice bottle of white wine and pours herself a glass, seats on the couch and sometimes she talks to Rusty but when he is not there, she either watch TV or just drinks her wine thinking about what happened that day, on those days she found herself alone and thinking about a particular person, a certain blonde and tonight that thought was even more real, her lips pressed against her own, the smile on her face, Brenda's perfume… her phone started ringing and she hoped really hoped it wasn't another murder, she needed to rest but when she saw who was calling, her heart started beating so fast that she thought it was about to go out of her chest, she took a deep breath and answered "Hello"

"Hi Sharon, are you busy?" Brenda spoke on the other side of the phone

Sharon wanted to tell Brenda that she was busy, that she had a lot of things to do, invent something but she also needed to talk to her "no, why?"

"Can I see you?"

"Where?"

"Meet you in the bar called Lions, in an hour?" she could hear the enthusiastic tone in Brenda's voice, but for her it wasn't a good idea, they needed to talk and alcohol wouldn't help her that much.

"Brenda?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't think a bar is the best idea, I need to talk to you" she grabs the pillow besides her and leans against the couch.

"I know Sharon" Brenda sighs "then where do you wanna meet?"

"Have you eaten dinner already?" yes a dinner would do just fine

"No I haven't"

"Okay" she paused to think for the right place where they could meet "then we could go have dinner to Haley's, I'll just changed my work clothes, see you there in-" she looked at the time on her phone, it was only 9pm "in about half hour? Is that okay with you?"

"Yeah that works just fine" Brenda smiled to herself, she couldn't wait to see Sharon.

"Bye Brenda" she hang up the phone, took her glass of wine and drank the rest of it, tonight she was going to talk to Brenda with the truth, tell her that they couldn't possibly go on kissing like they had the other night, Brenda was a married woman and she was kind of dating Andy. She stood up, left the glass on the sink and went to change to more comfortable clothes.

She arrived to the restaurant, it was a quiet one and the right place for them to talk, she asked for a table for two and the waiter lead her to a table close to a window. When she was taking her seat, Brenda came through the door, she couldn't help but smile the blonde looked beautiful even if she was in jeans and a blouse she waved and Brenda waved back making her way to Sharon, they smile like fools and Brenda walked faster, she swears she saw her walking faster and then she felt two hands around her neck and two pair of lips against her own, everything happened so fast but she was kissing back, all her emotions where right there, the sweetest lips she had ever kissed, the blonde made her forget about everything around her, this kiss was so desperate but feeling Brenda so close to her it was the best feeling, her heart jumped of joy, she broke the kiss and tried to recover her breathe and steady her voice, Brenda too they rested in each other foreheads and she whispered "we need to be more careful about this, we can't go on kissing like that" The waiter was still beside the table with his eyes big and opened mouth, he just couldn't believe what had just happened in front of him, he cleared his throat and that made them jump and recover themselves, Sharon made an apologetic smile "sorry about that, you can just leave the menus here and bring two glasses of water, thank you" he only nod, left the menus on the table and headed for the glasses of water, they both sat down and Sharon could see in Brenda the most beautiful smile she had ever seen, it was an honest one from ear to ear and she found herself smiling too but thirsty too*Gosh how much she needed that glass of water* They both were silent, reading their menus but sharing looks now and then, Sharon concentrate in her menu trying to figure out what she would have for dinner, instead Brenda pretended she was reading it but she was actually staring at Sharon, she looked stunning, Brenda thought *how is it possible that someone could look so good* Sharon caught her staring "Brenda?" she said behind her holding menu.

"Yes?" the blonde almost jumped, she was brought back to earth

"I want to talk to you about something" Sharon really didn't know how to say the things she wanted to said

"Yes Sharon, you already told me that, what is it?" Brenda asked putting down her menu so she could actually see her but couldn't because Sharon was trying to hide herself behind her own menu.

"I-" the words wouldn't leave her mouth, Gosh where was the damned glass of water!?

"Sharon stop, you are making me nervous" Brenda said leaning and grabbing Sharon's menu so she could see her in the eyes, but Sharon was staring at the table "Sharon look at me please? What is it that you wanted to tell me?"

The waiter arrived, on time for Sharon but for Brenda it was really inopportune, Sharon felt relived actually, she would be able to speak thank God she needed that water more than anything, she drank fast and let the liquid actually calm her thirst, now she was more composed. They made their orders and Brenda looked back at Sharon "So what did you want to talk about?"

"I think-" Sharon began and Brenda knew exactly the words that Sharon would said, she felt a knot in her stomach and tried to hide the sadness in her eyes, she took a deep breath and listened to Sharon's words, one by one "I think we can't go on doing this, you can't certainly kiss me like you did a couple of minutes ago-" Brenda tried to talked but Sharon raised her hand and didn't let her "I know I kissed you too, so that make us both responsible, but we can't keep doing this Brenda, you are ma-" Sharon felt like crying as soon as the word crossed her mind, she made a pause before continuing talking "you are married Brenda and I really don't want to break that and I don't want to have an affair with you, I'm not that kind of person and I'm also seeing someone and I don't want to hurt him."

Brenda just sat there without been able to speak, the thought of Sharon with someone else made her sad, it felt as if her heart has pulled out of her chest, she felt broken but Sharon was right she was a married woman, they couldn't possibly have an affair, she had lived that in the past and she didn't want Sharon to go through the same thing she did years ago with Will, she couldn't possibly do that to her, she took the glass of water in front of her and drank, Sharon just stared at her with worried eyes "Brenda, please tell me something? Talk to me" Sharon said desperate.

"I think you are right Sharon" Brenda looked at the woman in front of her right into her eyes and they both stay like that, looking into each other souls, there was nothing left to say, words weren't needed anymore, they knew how they felt for each other but they would probably had to say goodbye again and this time it would hurt more deeply, Sharon reached for Brenda's hand and she intertwined their fingers, she brought their hands close to her lips and kissed Brenda's "I wished this was more easy Sharon, I-" Brenda couldn't find the right words "I'm sorry"

"Me too Brenda Leigh" Sharon kissed her had again "me too" and let it go

"So what do we do now Sharon? I don't want to be apart from you" the thought of not being able to be close to Sharon, she couldn't take it, now that she had found Sharon again, she couldn't say goodbye again.

"I don't want that either, but I fear we won't be able to stop this, this is stronger than us Brenda, what I feel for you-" sighs "oh Brenda I can't help it, I wish I could but I can't, when I see you the only thing I want to do is kiss you, hug you-" she paused and bite her lower lip "and make love to you, I can't help this feeling inside of me Brenda, I think is better if we keep our distance"

"Sharon please" Brenda sat straighter on her seat and put her arms on the table reaching for Sharon's hands "don't make me say goodbye to you, I can't do it again, we could try to be friends…I just, please-"

The meal arrived and now both of them thought it wasn't the best of moments for an interruption, Brenda let go Sharon's hand and sat straight, they both 'smiled' at the waiter and murmured "thank you".

As painful as it would be to have Brenda by her side but actually not to have her, she would take the risk, Sharon felt that it would be even more painful if she let her go again, she would try her best to be her friend just to keep seeing her.

"Fine" she said and Brenda raised an eyebrow as if she hadn't understand what Sharon meant with that "we will keep seeing each other, I would be your…friend" she took a bite of her meal, Brenda smiled like a child who had received a new toy on Christmas, but wasn't quit the gift the kid wanted, it was a sad smile.

"Thank you Sharon" Brenda took a sip to her wine and Sharon just nod, "So" Brenda made a pause so she could think of a nice way to ask what she was about to ask, she needed to or she would die inside, she felt jealous "who are you dating?"

"Brenda Leigh?" Sharon said in a kind of angry tone.

"Could you please stop calling me by my whole name whenever I say something you don't like or when you are angry? It makes me nervous" Brenda took another sip to her wine before putting in on the table "now tell me, who's the lucky person, do I know him?" she said with a sarcastic tone.

Sharon took a deep breath and a sip of her wine and… "we aren't dating, well we are…I…we go out but as friends and yes you do know him, is Andy Flynn" and she took another bite off her meal so she wouldn't be able to say more, Brenda actually chocked as soon as she heard the name, she couldn't believe it, she drank water and then out of nowhere she started laughing, if years ago, someone had told her that Sharon and Andy would end up together, she wouldn't believe it and she certainly wasn't believing it now, but after all she hadn't stay in touch with anyone on her team, so she didn't know how that had happen, but seriously she just couldn't believe that her Captain, *correct yourself Brenda*, her friend Captain Raydor was dating Andy Flynn, the guy that broke laws years ago, the guy who didn't get along with the Captain, what had happened!?. And then she looked up, with tears in her eyes because she laughed but also cried a little -it hurt to know that Sharon was seeing someone- found herself been looked by a not so smiley Sharon *oh oh this was no good*

"Are you done?" Sharon asked with a serious face

"Sorry" she pulled herself together and with the napkin cleaned her tears, she hoped her make up wasn't ruined "I just can't believe you and Andy are dating, that's all, is just so-" nope, she couldn't find the right word to describe it *'ridiculous'!?, no that word wouldn't do justice, maybe 'out of place' just 'wrong' gosh no no, the word just couldn't come to her mind*

"I'm sorry to disappoint you then" Sharon said putting her knife and fork down "but he is actually a nice person-"

"I didn't say he wasn't Sharon" Brenda interrupt her

But that didn't seem to bother Sharon because she continue talking "and he was the first one to accept me as the head of Major Crimes, the first one who stood by my side, so everything started as friendship and before we even knew…" she took a pause and drank wine "it turns out we like each other actually, why is it so hard for you to believe it!?"

"I'm sorry Sharon, but is just odd to me" she paused, it was definitely going to be difficult to see Sharon with someone else "can we change of subject please I really don't like picturing you with another person"

"Look Brenda" Sharon was serious now "you have your husband and I can't have you, I like Andy so just at least let me be with him okay and also I think is better if we just say goodbye for tonight, we need a couple of days, maybe a week apart before we decide if we want to keep seeing each other" Sharon drank the rest of her wine.

"You are probably right, it is hard for us to have an actual conversation, is better if we don't see each other in a few days" Brenda called the waiter, so he would bring the check.

They headed outside the restaurant, walking side by side, "well" Sharon said turning to Brenda "goodnight Brenda" she didn't know what to do, she wanted to kiss her so badly and if Brenda had just read her mind, before she could know it her lips were being kissed by the blonde, "Brenda please don't make this more difficult" she murmured, but Brenda kept kissing her lips as if she hadn't notice that Sharon said a few words, Sharon gave up and kissed her back, they kissed for minutes but it felt like hours, they broke the kiss and Sharon leaned over closer to Brenda's ear and said "goodnight Brenda Leigh" kissed her on the cheek and walk away before Brenda could say anything else.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

It had been a week, Sharon thought it was better if she didn't see Brenda for a while, she needed to think what would be of the two of them and of course she had to talk with Andy and let him know that she needed some time to think, she didn't want to hurt him but it would probably be the best, he was a good man and he deserved someone who truly loved him.

She had arranged to meet Andy for breakfast in a restaurant close to her condo.

"So what is it that you wanted to talk about Sharon?" outside work he was able to call her by her name and not her rang.

She drank from her cup of coffee and thought how to say the words without hurting him, although it would "Andy" she began "I really like you but I need some time to think all this" he looked disappointed "I'm sorry but I need to settle down somethings in my life and I don't know if I feel the same way that you feel about me and I don't want to hurt you and use you in order to not feel lonely, I just hope this doesn't affect our friendship and work" it was said and now she couldn't turn back the time.

"Why? I thought you felt good about this" after the week he had had, he was very disappointed and felt like he had been used in some kind of way.

"I did" sighs "I just need some time to think, please understand me" she put her hand in his but he immediately took it away

"Take the time you need, but don't be so sure that I'll be here for you" and with those words, he was gone. Right now, at this right moment, Sharon blame herself for having a relationship or dates with a coworker, a subordinate, she had thought about it several times before accepting Andy's invitation, many times she said no or she thought it was being friendly, until it went out of her hands and the friend dates became romantic dates, she had allowed herself to go out with him despite her trying not to and now here it was the result, he was angry because she said she needed time, this was definitely going to affect her work and that's exactly what Chief Taylor warned her about. She felt like a fool, if she wouldn't allow her loneliness trap her to this, she wouldn't have to deal with this whole mess she created. Lesson of today for Sharon Raydor: don't have romantic dates or misinterpreted friendships with coworkers, it can get messy.

After the not so pleasant breakfast, she went back to her condo to change for work.

"How did it go with Lieutenant Flynn?" Rusty asked as soon as she entered the apartment

"Not very well" she throw her purse in the couch next to the boy and herself seconds later and let out a sigh

"That bad hah!?" He mute the TV so they could talk properly

"Yes"

"Tell me what happened?" he asked her putting a hand in hers

This wasn't like him, Sharon thought, he had never asked her about dating or anything that it wasn't related to work, this new façade took her by surprise but anyway she felt like she had to talk with him about it. "I told Andy that I need some time to think about what's happening between the two of us and that I wasn't sure if I felt the same way towards him" she sat straighter on the sofa "I just don't want to hurt him and make him think that I'm using him just to not feel lonely, I just-" she felt so bad for what she had done, but she wasn't completely happy with him by her side

"Look Sharon" he took both her hands in his and Sharon just felt like this wasn't real, he hadn't been this affective with her, she blinked "I don't know what's going on with you, but in the past weeks, you had been smiling but then this week you are like down and a little bit moody" she reacted to that last word, she wasn't expecting him to be that honest "so, I love you I do, but I want you to be as happy as you were two weeks ago, because I like to see you smiling and not moody" she was going to say something but he didn't let her and continued talking "if you think that you did the right thing by telling Lieutenant Flynn how you felt about him, I don't see why you should regret or feel bad because you were honest with him. So you like him but you don't feel love for him, you like him as a friend and nothing more?" she only nod. They just stayed there, holding hands and without any more words to say, when did they become so close!?, when did it happen because she wasn't sure, he had supported her before, yes many times he had helped in cases but not when it came to her own happiness, she wasn't sure, but she was smiling because he had said he loves her, had talked with her with honesty and that brought some happiness to this bad day. She just hugged him and murmured a "thank you" got up from the coach and went to her room to change, mentally prepared and left to work.

/

Brenda was on her office when a phone rang, it was her desk phone, at first she got excited, it could be Sharon, but when she reached to see who it was, she didn't identify the number, it was even a different code line from L.A, who would it be!? She was tired of hopping for Sharon to call and every time the phone rang she hopped it was her but turns out it was never Sharon, with sadness in her eyes and tired voice she answered the phone "Chief Investigator Johnson, how may I help you?" her voice was weak, she could feel it.

"Hello Chief Investigator, we are calling you from the CIA, the director wants to speak with you" it was the voice of a woman "Can you talk right now or we can schedule a day for you to talk to him?"

CIA, what did they want now!? She took a deep breath "I'm not busy now, I can talk to him"

"Okay great, I'll transfer the call now" the woman sound relieved and happy by the way she answered "just may take a minute, he is very busy but he really wants to talk with you ma'am and has tried to localized you"

"Sure" Brenda lay down on her chair, *what the heck, anyway she didn't have anything better to do*, she waited for a few minutes and then someone's voice brutally brought her back, she was falling asleep. "What!?" she didn't understand what the man just said

"Hello Brenda is Edward Lawson, I don't know if you remember me, we used to work together way back in the CIA!?"

Edward! Who was that man, she was so bad with name, she tried so hard to remember him but it didn't ring any bell "sorry to say this, but no I can't remember you" she said with an apologetic tone.

"Oh that's okay" the man said "I'll cut to the chase then" he clears his throat and continue speaking "I need of your skills for a difficult case we have, apparently an old killer is back here and the city is panicking, we aren't sure if is actually him because this kind of killing happened too many years ago, I don't know if you remember the murders that happened way back of blonde women when you were here in DC!?"

Oh my god, she just froze, of course she remembered, it had scared the shit out of her, she had even thought of dying her hair a different color because of the murders "yes I do remember, but what exactly do you need from me?" she sat straight in her office chair, suddenly her eyes weren't closing anymore and panic came through her mind.

"Well I remembered you were involved in that case and I really could use of your help, if you are up to of course, but I can't afford you to take days to make this decision, I need an answer as soon as possible, if I didn't know about your history of amazing undercover work" he made a pause "I wouldn't be asking for your help, think about it and I'll call you tomorrow morning to know what you decide, I really hope you can help me"

"Okay, I'll think about it and you'll have my answer sooner than you expect" this was going to be a risk, but years ago she had wanted to catch the killer and now life was giving her another chance, she will do it, but she needed to talk with Fritz, he certainly wouldn't want her to go. "Good bye" she hang up the phone. She wanted to call Sharon and let her know and she wanted to see her before leaving, why did it had to be so hard? She wanted to be with Sharon, to kiss her and to feel, but also she wanted to see Sharon because she understood her, she wouldn't be judgmental about the decision she took, that was something she did not longer have with Fritz, he always was afraid of her getting hurt when she used to arrest criminals, he was happy with the new job she had because that way she wasn't in danger, she made up her mind and decided to text Sharon.

" _I need to talk to you about something, can I see you?"_

 _P.S urgent_

 _-B_

On the building of the LA PD a certain burnet was in her office reviewing some old case, she was tired, she was laying against her chair resting when her phone vibrated on her desk, she put on her glasses and read the text, Brenda had messaged her and she wanted to see her now, oh god what was she suppose to do!? By the words in the text it looked like urgent. She wanted to see Brenda, the past days had being very busy but she also had to admit that she didn't call or text Brenda because she needed some time to think. She ended up responding to the text and decided to meet the blonde in the coffee shop near her work.

" _See you in the Bistro near to your work in half hour?" –S_

She put her phone in her desk and waited a few seconds till her phone vibrated again with a new text from Brenda.

" _Okay, see you there in half hour" –B_

Sharon grabbed her purse and blazer and headed outside her office, she made her way to Provenza's desk and as soon as the man lay eyes on her she spoke "I have to go out for about an hour Lieutenant, if you get a call about a case or anything comes up please give me a call"

"Sure Captain" that's all he said, he wasn't the kind of person who interrogates people about personal stuff and especially not to the Captain, she knew that and was thankful for it.

"Thank you Lieutenant" she managed to give him a half smile and then walked to the elevators.

She arrived to the Bistro and Brenda was already there, sat in a table close to the entrance, she opens the door and walks to the table were Brenda is, her heart of course started biting faster and she felt hot all over her body, the things this woman did to her, she smile at Brenda and sat down.

"Hi" Sharon says

"Hello Sharon, I'm sorry for asking you to see me but I really needed to talk to you"

"Okay Brenda I'm here, what is it? You are making me nervous"

"I just received a phone call from the CIA" Brenda drank from the cup in front of her, she didn't know what to say to Sharon actually, she just wanted to see her and this phone call was just an excuse for that

"Okay you received a phone call from the CIA" Sharon didn't know what that meant but then it hit her "Oh my god Brenda, what did they tell you?" she was getting worry now, what if they want her on a mission or had offer her a job and she was considering taking it.

Brenda put the cup of coffee back on the table and started to talk "I know that you wanted some distance Sharon but right now you are the only person I can turn to about this" she paused and looked at Sharon in the eyes "The CIA seems to require my skills to catch a murder and they need an answer as soon as possible, but I don't know what to do Sharon"

Sharon had stopped listening when Brenda said *requires my skills to catch a murder* did it mean that she had to go undercover, she would be in danger, she panicked "Sharon what's wrong?" Brenda's voice and hand's over hers brought her back.

"Sorry I just-" Sharon breathe deeply and sat properly, suddenly unsure of what to say "exactly what are you going to do?"

"They want me to help them with the case, is an old one that I know well, because the same murders happened long time ago when I used to work there" that's all that Brenda was going to tell Sharon, she didn't want to worry her

"And you want to go?" Sharon raise an eyebrow

"Yes, I think I do" Brenda drank coffee again

"Then go Brenda, if you think that you can help them then you should go" as much as it worried her, she knew Brenda very well and Brenda loved working undercover and she was good at what she did, she would always support Brenda's decisions. "You should go and do what you do best, catch the bad guys" she wink at her without even noticed and Brenda smiled.

"Thank you Sharon" Brenda gave a little squeeze to Sharon's hand

"What for?"

"For meeting me, I thought you wouldn't wanna see me" she let go Sharon's hand but Sharon stopped her and grabbed it strongly and looked at Brenda's brown eyes and said "I always want to see you and please be careful, do what you have to do but please come back" Brenda just nod and without realizing it her eyes dropped to Sharon's lips, she wanted so badly to kiss them, to be with her before going to DC, the waiter interrupt the moment and Sharon asked for a cappuccino.

"So how long will you be gone?" Sharon let go Brenda's hand, they had to be more careful, they were in a public place and people from work may see them and it was known among them that they didn't like each other and weren't even friends.

"I don't know, till we catch the killer, it could take days or weeks, he was so good back then, but the thing is we might deal with a copycat so I really can't tell you" Brenda bite her lower lip

"Will you be able to talk once you are in DC?" Sharon was really worried about her and if she was going for days or weeks and she wouldn't be able to talk with Brenda, that was going to be very difficult, she would spent every day worried until Brenda's return.

"I don't know Sharon" she put both arms on the table and Sharon too, almost touching her's "Look at me Sharon" she did "I'm going to be alright, if they tell me that I can't communicate with the people I know, for my safety and theirs, I won't do it because they will know if I do and I might compromise the entire investigation, but I'll be fine okay" Brenda winked at Sharon and she only nod, suddenly without words and she felt like her eyes wanted to let go some tears, but she composed herself, she would cry later when no one could see her.

They were drinking the coffee, sharing some cookies and talking about work when Sharon's cellphone vibrated on the table, it was a message from Provenza, she was needed immediately because Taylor was looking for her.

"I have to go now, Taylor wants to talk to me about something" she stood up and Brenda grabbed her hand, she turned to look at her and they just looked at each other, really looked at each other's eyes, this kind of looks that they share were better than words it expressed so much, they could see and feel each other by just looking in each other's eyes and right now love and pain is all they could feel, Brenda had never felt something so real as this, she loved Sharon so much that it hurt, every time that they were apart it felt like her heart was pull out and when Sharon returned, her heart was brought back to her.

Sharon leaned over close to Brenda's ear and she murmured "be safe, know that I love you" and kissed her cheek. Brenda froze, always that Sharon said something so important, something so beautiful she just froze, she wanted to tell her she loves her too but Sharon was already gone, frustrated Brenda stood up and headed back to work to talk with her boss about the upcoming days she would be in DC and also she had to talk with Fritz about her decision, she wasn't going to ask for his permission to go, she had made a choice, DC needed her and she would help as much as she could.

After talking with her boss, Brenda got home earlier, something she never did, she started packing her bags when she heard the front door of her house open and close , it was Fritz "Brenda are you home?" he called out.

"I'm in the bedroom Fritz"

When he entered the room, he got shocked and stop in the door "what are you doing?" he crossed his arms "where are you going?" he demanded an answer.

She turned around to look at him "The CIA called me and I'm leaving to help with a case, I'll be back soon"

"So you are leaving without discussing it with me"

"Look Fritz" she left her suitcase for a moment and payed attention to him "they need my help and yes I took this decision by myself because it is important that I'm there" she said putting her hands on her hips

"I'm tired of this Brenda, you think you are the only one in this marriage and you don't even realize about my feelings, you don't count me in your decisions, you think I'm only here so you don't feel that lonely"

"When you took the LAPD rang, you didn't ask if I was okay with it" she sat on the bed "you can't blame all of our discussions, disagreements and problems to me, like you said, is a marriage, it involves two people but lately we don't seem to agree in anything, so-" she took a deep breath and said what she had wanted to said for months "I think is better if we take some time apart and see what we will do"

"Fine" he agreed with her "when you come back from your trip, we will figure this out" he was about to leave the room but turned around and approached to her, offered his both hands, she took them and stand up, they hugged like if it was going to be the last time they would "please be careful and return safe" he let go and went out of the room and the house, Brenda stand there for a while, she felt relief, thank God he had agreed with her that things weren't so good for them but she also felt sad when he hugged her, he had been someone really important for her and it felt like a goodbye, he was so good with her, he deserved better and she wasn't in love with him anymore. It was for the best she thought.

DC was going to help her to think all her possibilities, it will help to rearrange her life that was in chaos, but she was so mistaken, two weeks had passed and she didn't see the day of going back to LA, she couldn't say home because she didn't have a home anymore but she did want to return, she was enjoying her undercover work but she misses Sharon and not been able to see her or talk with her made her heart ache, if only she was with Sharon right now, she would be happy, the only thing that helped her to keep focus and not to give up were the words that Sharon had sent her when she had arrived in DC _*I'll be waiting for you, I can't wait for you to come back so I can show you how much you mean to me*_ the text message had been longer but these few words, were the ones that remained in her heart. She needed Sharon more than air, she wanted Sharon more than chocolate, she loved Sharon, she needed to leave this undercover work alive so she was able to tell Sharon that she loves her and that she couldn't fight that feeling any longer.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

It had been almost 2 months but Brenda was finally back in LA, it was about 11pm when her plane arrived, no one knew -not even her husband- that she would arrived on that day at that time, she had fought with Fritz about her trip and both had decided that it was better if they took some time apart when Brenda came back, to see if they wanted to safe the marriage or just separate for the best of interest, it had being months of fighting, of disagreeing on everything, they both weren't happy anymore, so she didn't feel obligate to tell him when she was getting back, it could wait for tomorrow but someone else couldn't wait for her. She took a cab and decided to go to Sharon's place, she knew it was late but she needed to see her more than anything. She reached her destination, payed the cab, grabbed her bag and lucky for her someone was going out of the building, she went to the elevator and the way up to Sharon's floor was so silent and slow, she felt without air, the elevator doors opened and her heart started beating so fast, she walked to the door and knocked two times, after a minute or two she heard steeps approaching and her body started to sweat, her hands shaking of nerves and she heard the door getting unlocked and the sweetest of voice "Brenda, what are you doing here?" the door fell open and revealed a beautiful brunette, before she could answer, before she could say anything, two arms grabbed her in a embrace, she then felt relief, felt loved, felt saved for the first time in years, Sharon was there, Sharon loved her, Sharon opened up her door and arms to her. They stayed like that for minutes, feeling each other's heart beats and breathe.

"Sharon" Brenda called out her name while kissing her neck.

"Hmm?" Sharon's eyes were fill with tears, she had waited too much for Brenda's return, without having news of her, she only knew that Brenda had arrived safely to DC and a month ago Brenda had sent her a short text but that was all and to have her back in her arms, was the biggest of joys.

Brenda turned to look at her and kissed away the tears, she kissed all her face "I'm here, I'm alright" kissed her lips "oh Sharon, I missed you" Sharon was without words, having Brenda back was having a piece of herself back.

Sharon kissed her like her life depended on it, she didn't care anymore if Brenda decided to leave her husband, it could be selfish from her and people would judge her for it but she truly didn't care anymore, having Brenda away from her arms was the most painful thing and she would fight to have Brenda by her side and be able to love each other. She broke the kiss only to let Brenda in the apartment "Come on in" Sharon closed the door behind them "do you want anything to drink? You must be exhausted" she walk to the kitchen but Brenda grabbed her by the arm and made her turn around.

"I know that there are things we need to talk about, but all I need is you Sharon" she made a short pause to find the right words to express everything she needed to "Sharon while I was in DC I realized a lot of things" she brought her hand to Sharon's cheek "I realize that I have pushed too many people away from my life but I don't wanna do that with you, I need you Sharon, it feels like home when I'm with you"

"You have me Brenda, you know that" Sharon cares Brenda's face with her delicate fingers.

"Make love to me"

"Brenda I-" the blonde kissed her before she could go on talking.

Brenda broke the kiss to talk "Please Sharon" kissed her again "I need you" she kissed Sharon's cheek and came close to her ear and whisper "I love you"

Those 3 words made Sharon go insane, Brenda loved her back, that was all she needed to hear, she took Brenda's hand and lead her to her bedroom without saying a word, she closed the door and pushed Brenda against it, kissing her lips slowly, she took Brenda's blazer and blouse out of the way and cupped her breasts with both hands, never breaking the kiss, Brenda removed Sharon's t-shirt and let it fall to the floor, Sharon bite Brenda's lower lip and that made the blonde moan, Sharon grabbed Brenda by the waist and brought her to the bed laying her gently there, she unbuttoned Brenda's pants and took them off slowly, she stood up and took her pajamas pants too and laid on top of Brenda kissing her on the lips, this time the kisses were slower and sweeter, she then kissed Brenda's cheek, chin, jaw, neck and lower, she reached her breasts and kissed between them, with both hands she cupped both but she needed to feel the skin covered by the bra so she reached Brenda's back, unhooked the black bra and delicately she removed it and throw it out of her way, she looked at brown eyes and kissed one of her nipples while her hand give pleasure to the other one, Brenda moan and jerked her back when her nipple was bitten, Sharon kissed the other nipple before going down Brenda's body, she kissed all the way to her panties, she opened her mouth and with her teeth she started removing them down the very toned and beautiful legs, Brenda looked down and couldn't help but moan at the sight in front of her, Sharon sure looked very sexy with her skirts but she looked hot and beautiful when she was naked, Sharon looked at Brenda's eyes and kissed every inch of her legs, never breaking eye contact, everything was said there, she reached Brenda's inner thigh and bite making her moan, she kissed her sex and went up again to meet Brenda's mouth in a sweet wet kiss, Brenda bite her lower lip and Sharon moaned in pleasure.

"Please Sharon" Brenda beg, knowing where she wanted to feel Sharon most at that moment.

"Tell me what you want?" she kissed her on the cheek

"I want to feel you inside me" Brenda kissed her breathless.

Sharon did as she was ask and made passionate sweet love to the beautiful blonde, Brenda felt truly wanted and loved, every gentle touch from Sharon, every kiss was like heaven to her, she didn't want anything else, all she needed was Sharon's arms to make her feel safe, Sharon's love to feel like home, Sharon's smile was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, Sharon a beautiful woman, a woman she had learned to admire and love. For Sharon it felt like she finally belonged, Brenda was everything she had dreamed, she would love her till life permits her to do so.

They fall asleep in each other arms, it was late and they both were really tired, tomorrow things would looked better for them and they would have time to talk and see what was going to happen next, right now words didn't matter, their dreams were surrender with laughs, love and sweet things.

Sharon Raydor woke up to a sweet voice that was saying beautiful things to her ear and kisses were pressed to her neck and face, she couldn't help but smile, she thought that everything had been a dream, that Brenda hadn't come to her after two months, but to wake up to this, it was the prove that she was alive more than ever, in love and happy "Morning sunshine" Brenda said kissing her on the cheek.

"Morning beautiful" Sharon said turning around to face the blonde, she passed her fingers through Brenda's hair and closed the space between them to kiss her, both depending on it, she smile against Brenda's lips "I can't believe you are really here" the blonde just node and brought Sharon's body closer to her own like they could possibly be more close.

"I can't believe it either" Brenda said smiling like a fool, it was like a miracle to be in this woman's arms, to be loved and wanted "I missed you so much" she kissed the brunette lips.

"I missed you too" they hugged each other for a few minutes, feeling each other's heart beats, this felt unreal "I hate to break this" Sharon said kissing Brenda's neck "but we need to talk"

"I know we do but do we have to right now?" Brenda said kissing Sharon's sweet lips

"Don't try to persuade me not to talk about-" She was cut off when Brenda bite her neck "Brenda!" she moan instead of commanding her to stop, the blonde only kept pressing kisses to Sharon's chest and neck and lay on top of her, Sharon went to say something but Brenda pressed her fingers to her lips and didn't let her.

"Let me make you feel-" Brenda said looking at green eyes, pressed a kiss in Sharon's breast "I want to feel you" kissed her between her breasts, a place she found beautiful and didn't want to ever stop kissing it, she kept kissing lower till she reached the brunette's abdomen passing her fingers first and then pressed kisses all over it, this woman had the most beautiful skin she had ever seen, she wanted to explore every inch of her body, taste it, kiss it, feel it, Sharon arched her back when Brenda pressed her lips to her sex to feel her more close, "oh God Sharon you are so beautiful" she said kissing her inner thighs, Sharon just gasped.

Brenda whisper "I want you to feel awesome" she kisses up until she reaches Sharon's lips and started a slowly pattern with her fingers on Sharon's clit.

"Just…oh" Sharon moaned "stop teasing me" Sharon could barely talk "please…"

"Please what?" Brenda bites Sharon's neck

"Please Brenda" she worried her lip into her mouth, she couldn't take more teasing.

"Chief, please Chief"

"You are kidding?"

"Nah ah" she said daring her

"Brenda!?" Sharon looked at her

Brenda stopped teasing her but kept her hand between their bodies and Sharon heaven a sigh of frustration.

"Chief please" Sharon said with a desperate tone and Brenda smiled and kissed once again all her body, she couldn't keep teasing her so she just fucked her with her tongue and fingers, leaving her breathless.

"Oh my God" Sharon said kissing Brenda, testing herself on that kiss, she brought her closer and they stayed for a few minutes embracing each other, words would be say later. "Are you sure this is your first time with a woman" Sharon said smiling and kissing her breathless.

Brenda just giggle and blushed inevitable "yes my Captain"

"Well let me tell you that I find it hard to believe you that" Sharon said playfully

"Why's that Captain?" Brenda bite Sharon's neck

"As much as I wanna stay all day in bed and keep exploring your body, we both have to get back to our lives"

"You are right" Brenda said with a sad tone, she really didn't want to arrive to her house and confront Fritz, reality wasn't good but she had to.

"Hey hey" Sharon put her hand on Brenda's cheek "everything is going to be alright" she kissed her on the forehead "we will spend many days like this, just you and me"

Brenda couldn't help but smile "you are such a romantic"

They kissed slowly, feeling each other joy, this felt so right. "You'll be surprised Chief" she winked at her "now let's take a shower, eat breakfast and see what to do next" she spank her and Brenda raised her eyebrow and started laughing.

"I'm gonna get ya for that Captain!" Brenda exclaimed but before she could do anything Sharon was running to the bathroom, Brenda ran after her grabbing her and pushing her into the shower, this didn't even feel childish, being in love just made you do silly things with the person you love.

They showered and then headed to the kitchen to have breakfast "How was D.C?" Sharon asked the inevitable question while she opened the fridge door.

"It was okay, I expected it to be more interesting I don't want to talk about it" Brenda was avoiding to say so many things and Sharon knew she did but she said to herself that it would be better not to push her to tell her everything, she wasn't going to be like that, she will let Brenda open up herself.

"So how do you want your eggs?"

The change of subject surprised Brenda but she felt relief "just the Mexican way, thanks"

While they eat breakfast quietly, but didn't stop looking at each other and sharing laughs and suddenly the door to Sharon's apartment opened, it had to be Rusty.

"Sharon are you home?" Rusty's voice said while he closed the door.

Sharon jumped from her chair and looked at Brenda worried "I'm in the kitchen" she called out

"Hey I just came to-" he stopped brutally when he saw a blonde that he knew very well, "Sharon?" he asked looking at Brenda.

"Hey Rusty" she walked to greet him "I thought you'll be back till later today, what happened?"

"I just came for a few things" they kissed and hugged "what is Brenda doing here?"

"Why don't you say hi properly?"

"Hi Brenda" he said looking over Sharon's shoulder

"Hi Rusty" the blonde smile at him

"Well I'll just grab a few things and leave"

"So fast? Did you have breakfast?"

"Yeah anyway T.J. is waiting me, so I really have to run" he went to his room without saying anything else

"He is not usually like this" Sharon said apologizing

"Is okay I understand him, he doesn't like me"

"Of course he does don't be silly" Sharon got closer and gave her a quick kiss, sitting down again to resume her breakfast.

"You just say that to not make me feel bad"

"I'm going now Sharon, it was nice seeing you Brenda, bye" he didn't even look back.

"Bye Rusty" he closed the door.

"You see he said it was nice seeing you"

"Because he's educated but I'm telling you I don't sympathize him and I get it, after all I wasn't there for him, he must resent me"

"Don't worry, your charms will work just fine"

"Why Captain Raydor did ma charms work with you?" she got closer and kissed Sharon.

"Look how far" they kissed once more

"Hmm I like that"

"Me too" Sharon smile, how she couldn't, despite of not getting along with Brenda when they first met, she had to admit that she fall for her when they started working more together and she felt hurt when the blonde didn't say goodbye properly to her, but having her back in her life was the best thing. "Now eat or the food will get cold"

They finished breakfast and washed the diches together, like if they have being doing this for years, Sharon passed Brenda the last plate and dry her hands on a towel.

"So I think we need to talk, but I know that you have to go home and see Fritz-"

Brenda put down the plate on the counter and the towel too and approached to Sharon "you are right about that but-" she put her arms around Sharon's neck "can I see you tomorrow?"

"If I don't caught a case I think I can" Sharon put her arms around Brenda's waist and brought her closer to kiss her.

"Well I have to leave now" Brenda said after they broke the kiss.

"I think you do" neither of them let go and didn't want to let go, they spent a few minutes just in each other's arms standing in the middle of the kitchen "Brenda"

"Yes?"

"I think you better go now or I won't let you do it"

"Do I've to leave?" Brenda said disappointed

"I'm afraid you do" Sharon kissed her on the cheek "come on" she turned Brenda around and they walked together –Sharon with her arms around her- to the room to collect Brenda's things.

They said their goodbyes in Sharon's door. They would talk later in the night or the next day.

/

Brenda arrived to her house, she took a deep breath and opened the door to her house "I'm back" she called out, she saw Fritz's car outside, so he was definitely home, it was better if he was.

Fritz appeared from the living room to greet her "Hi Bren" they hugged "couldn't you let me know that you were coming back?" he said with that kind of tone that annoyed her, but had come to get used to it in the past months.

"It was okay Fritz and I'm sorry" she sighs "I just thought that it was better this way, after the fight we had"

"Okay Bren, I think we need to talk then"

"Yes we do"

They sat down on the couch and Fritz was the first one to talk "I think we should work things out, we just keep fighting and you feel so far away, this two months were good for both of us, you being far away made me think about a few things and clear my head"

"What do you mean by work things out?"

"I think we should go to couple council and try to-"

"I don't think that's gonna work Fritzy" she stood up.

"Why not?"

"Because we aren't the kinda of couple that goes to therapy, I can't-" there was something else and he sensed it.

He stood as well "what are you telling me Brenda Leigh?"

"That I think we should separate" she said the words slowly and carefully.

"You have to be kidding me!" he yelled

"Pleaase lower your voice, I'm sorry Fritz is just, I can't keep going like this, we fight all the time and-"

"Are you seeing someone else Brenda?"

"No" she walked around the living room

"Stoooop walking please!" he exclaimed

"I'm sorry"

"Look at me in the eyes and tell me there's no one else in your life" he walked to confront her.

She couldn't look at him, she felt ashamed now, she should lied "you are seeing someone" this time it wasn't a question, "gosh Brenda" he sat down on the couch breathe deeply and buried his face on his hands "who is he?" he said after a minute, he was more calm.

"I can't-" she sat down on the coffee table.

"Is it someone I know? Did you meet him in DC? How long Brenda?"

She didn't know how to tell him that it wasn't a man but a woman, the woman she used to complain about all those years ago but now she's in love with her, she didn't have words to explain him, it happened without she even noticing and she couldn't fight against her feelings, she took a deep breath and decided to tell him the truth once and for all, "I didn't plan this Fritz" she started talking carefully "in the past years I haven't being happy or being the best of wives"

"Just tell me who he is Brenda!"

"What difference does it makes?"

"I think I have the right to know"

"Is'SharonRaydor" she said the name so fast

"What!"he couldn't believe what he just heard "of all people?"

"Like I said I didn't plan this"

"Gosh Brenda" he stood up again and walked to the kitchen "I want you out of the house!" he walked out of the house closing the door a little too hard and left in his car.

She just stayed there in the living room looking around at her life in it, pictures of her with Fritz, of her family, it was sad to leave this all behind but she had to do this, she wanted Sharon more than anything, she loves her more than her own life, she didn't regret this, she couldn't keep doing selfish things, she did the right thing but why she felt so bad!?. She headed to her bedroom and collected some of her clothes and put them on her car and move all the possible things into her car,that took her 2 hours and when she was done she took a deep breathe and realization hits her, she sits on the floor and starts to cry, after a few minutes she founds her purse and looks for her phone and dials the number she knows by heart.

"Hey Brenda" Sharon sounded enthusiastic to hear the blonde.

"Hey Sharon" Brenda said sobbing.

"Brenda what happened?"

"I told Fritz about us and-"

"Where are you?" They couldn't have this conversation over the phone she thought.

"In my house I, oh God Sharon" she stopped the tears.

"Are you alone?"

"Yes why?"

"I'm going to get you"

"No, no don't" Brenda composed herself "are you home?"

"Yes"

"Can I see you there?"

"I'll be waiting for you"

Half hour later the blonde was knocking on Sharon's door, Sharon hurried and opened it "hey what happened sweetheart?" Brenda just fall into Sharon's awaiting arms, Sharon managed to move both inside the apartment and closed the door, Brenda cried out while Sharon caressed her hair with her fingers.

"I'm sorry" Brenda murmurs against Sharon's neck.

Sharon grabbed Brenda's head carefully and kisses her tears away. "There's nothing to feel sorry about, come on let's sit down and talk about it" with joined hands they both walked to the living room and sat down

"I told Fritz and he got so mad and left"

"What did you expect Brenda Leigh? Is normal that he feels that way" she couldn't recriminate her about telling him, she would have done the same if she was still married.

"I don't know why I'm crying" Brenda said laughing nervously

"I do know and is okay" Sharon caressed Brenda's cheek

"I love you so much and don't get me wrong I do want to be with you but-" she couldn't finish that line but Sharon knew how to end it for her…

"But you feel sad because you are leaving so many years of marriage behind" Brenda just nodded "and you love and care about your husband and is hard to let go people, I understand what you are going through"

"You always know what to say" Brenda leaned on Sharon's shoulder.

"It will take some time to get used to this you know!? And if you wanna go back with Fritz, I would-" Sharon holds back tears "I would understand if you want to go back with him, I mean if he forgives you and actually-"

She was interrupted by Brenda's mouth pressed against her own, Brenda kissed her like she had never been kissed before, this kiss said millions of things, Brenda broke the kiss "I hope that answers your question Captain" she smiled against Sharon's lips and kissed her again, she felt so safe in the brunette's arms, her lips were her favorite place to get lost, this woman made everything better, she felt like home.

"I'm going to stay in a hotel" Brenda said sitting down and giving Sharon some space. "He asked me to leave so-"

"I would tell you to stay here with me but Rusty-"

"I know, don't worry" Brenda winked at her "he is not ready to accept me in his life"

"I'll talk with him about us eventually but we will have to wait, he's not ready, not yet" Sharon grabs Brenda's hand and pulls her closer "or maybe" she kissed her on the forehead "you should start spending time here with us and then we could tell him" Brenda nodded and laid down on the couch putting her head on Sharon's lap.

"I wish this was easier, I feel so bad for Fritz".

"I know honey me too" Sharon said while playing with Brenda's hair.

They stayed like that for a long time, it felt so right to be in each other company, it was home for both and it felt like they knew each other for all their lives, they had found love, true love and it felt surreal, a lot was going to change but they didn't regret it, they couldn't fight against it and a life full of love and happiness was awaiting for them, they just had to be patient and let it be.


End file.
